Putting Your Best Self Forward

The Law of Attraction

2012-01-11T09:51:00.000-08:00

Have you heard about the law of attraction? Has anyone let you in on the secret? Well if not, I will. The Law Attraction goes a little something like this: whatever you think, however you see yourself and wherever you envision yourself going..is what will manifest in real terms. The law of attraction simply states that if you think negatively, you will attract negative outcomes but if you think positively then you will attract all that is positive.

The Law of Attraction is real, more real than we ever imagined. Author Louise Hay, considered mother of positive thinking states: "Every time we think a thought, every time we speak a word, the universe is listening and responding to us." If you constantly find yourself disappointed, unsuccessful at business ventures, career changes and more then you must examine your thought process. When it comes to applying for a job or starting a new business, are you constantly doubting yourself? Or thinking about the "what ifs" before you even start--these thoughts could be hindering your progress. What you think manifests into who you are and how the world will perceive you.

Let's start off with something small, read a positive quote or affirmation everyday for the next two months. It will put your mind in line with positive thinking. Reading just a sentence to help kick-start your mind on thinking about all things that are good and lofty will have a direct impact on your life as well and your behavior. Try it, and let Putting Your Best Self Forward know how it has affected you.

Written by
Yetunde A. Odgbesan
All Rights Reserved

Deal With It

2012-01-10T09:21:00.000-08:00

Whatever it is, deal with it. If its anger, hurt, betrayal, failure, disappointment...deal with it. Do not torture yourself by literally "dealing with it" you need to deal with it by getting to the root of the problem. What's holding you back? What are you afraid of? Is it failure, is it lack of finances, is it a lack of support system that continues to put you in a never-ending rut? Now is the time to address the issue.

You cannot move forward in life if you refuse to deal with certain issues that seems to always creep up and throw you off your game. 2012 is the year of moving forward and moving higher and in order to do so--you must first identify any area, issue or person in your life whether in the past or present that is affecting you to fully move forward. Second you must find the power and confidence in yourself not only to rise above it but to be woman and man enough to address it. We all are led to believe that the classy and most sophisticated way of handling certain issues and people is to not deal with it, to act as if your above it. But, I've learned that, that is pointless at times because it never offers a solution to the problem. Some issues need to be addressed once and for all. And lastly, put your pride and upscale attitude to the side and give your issues a "one time only shot" to stay clear and out of your way.

We all go through many issues, become offended at the slightest remarks and hold grudges even though we say to ourselves and the world that we are true forgivers but ultimately in order to move forward you must deal with it, let it go and then let God or Life take its course.

All the Best,
Yetunde

Written by
Yetunde A. Odugbesan
All Rights Reserved

Truth Be Told

2011-12-12T10:15:00.000-08:00

10 Truths to Life

Truth #1: There is only one you. Therefore be the best that you can be, life is too short not to put your best self forward.

Truth #2: Beware of the company you keep, they can either put on track or throw you off. Friends, associates, business partners and more should be chosen wisely.

Truth # 3: You cannot love others, if you don't love yourself. Self-esteem and self-confidence must be nurtured within. You cannot take the world by force if you are constantly struggling with your insecurities.

Truth # 4: You cannot be a mentor or friend to someone else if you are in constant competition with others. Constant competition is an outward sign of inward insecurities. Be careful.

Truth # 5: Don't waste your time trying to imitate or duplicate someone elses business idea, venture or profession. You too have something unique and distinctive to offer and you do yourself and the world a dis-service when you take the short cut to success.

Truth # 6: Girlfriend are you truly happy for me? Its a tough question to think about but its real. Not every woman will be happy for you regardless of the position they play in your life. Jealousy is real and unfortunately consumes many.

Truth # 7: You cannot have a meaningful relationship with a man or woman if you don't get yourself together-emotionally. Don't short change yourself.

Truth # 8: Everyone is special but there are some people who are luminously special. Let them shine, let them soar and let them fulfill their purpose. Trust me, the world needs them.

Truth# 9: Let it go. Whatever was done, let it go.

Truth # 10: Whatever was lost can still be found. Whatever was destroyed can still be restored. And whatever was broken can still be repaired...if your willing to work at it.

Written by
Yetunde A. Odugbesan
All Rights Reserved.

When You Know Better-You DO Better

2011-11-22T14:08:00.000-08:00

The adage goes, "When you know better you do better," Maya Angelou could not have said it any better. I'm writing this article, for WOMEN only--because somethings just need to be said to you and for you. Each woman has a responsibility whether knowingly and unknowingly to be a role model for other women whether young or old. The saying-"lead by example" carries significant weight. Young women need to look to their left and right and be able to point to women who are going to support, guide and mold them.

Because when you know better you do better...you act better, you pray better, you behave better, you make better decisions...everything becomes better! Living your life by this mantra will force you to be a better person in totality. It will also force you to expect the same behavior from others. Sadly, not everyone can claim this mantra, not everyone knows better further hindering themselves of doing better. But, Putting Your Best Forward will help you to, "Know Better and Do Better." The amount of time you invest in your success, you also must invest that in yourself and in others.

So I am holding every woman to it...DO BETTER. No more excuses, no more irrational behavior, no more insecurity, no more what ifs, no more envy, no more wallowing in depression...no more. I need you to be your best and act like you know better.

Written By

Yetunde A. Odugbesan

Managing Work, Love, Service and Play

2011-11-07T13:01:00.000-08:00

The contemporary era requires of us to successfully juggle work, love, service and play. The emergence of globalization has changed the way in which we communicate, due to the development of advanced technology, the convergence of cultures, and a host of other benefits---but most importantly it has changed the way in which we conduct our daily lives. Today society requires more from us--more time, more energy, more goals, more attention...and the list goes on. So how do we successfully manage the increasing demands that society places upon us?

Management of Life becomes easy when you love everything you do. When you have a sincere passion and love for your work, your relationships, giving back and creating play time for yourself...life becomes more enjoyable. The key to successfully fulfilling all areas in your life is to make sure that you devote your time to fulfilling your passion. Find passion in your work, in your love life, in service and in play. Be passionate about life and everything else will seem so much easier.

Managing work, love, service and play will bring satisfaction and fulfillment. Make sure you see to it that all four of these compartments in your life are being nurtured in the way that it should be.

Written by
Yetunde Odugbesan
All Rights Reserved.

Fulfilled & Fabulous: The Female Success Factor

2011-10-16T16:05:00.000-07:00

You are a fabulous woman in all totality. Everyday you must remind yourself of how powerful and fabulous you are. The world needs you at your best--so daily positive affirmations are a must. So, today I am affirming and reminding you of your significance to this world. Your purpose, your strength, your emotions, your decisions, your style and intelligence is highly needed. Everyday is and will be a stepping stone into your magnificence.

Fulfilled and Fabulous is what you are. Your light cannot be threatened nor challenged. Your place and position can never be filled. You will and always will be the leader, the creator, the innovator, the trendsetter, the influential and much more. Without comprising yourself or values-you continue to blaze through the world. Every turning is a blessing, a gift, a reward, and an accomplishment. You are the epitome of "The Female Success Factor," so do not be afraid to shine, to stand out, to be and do your best and especially to look your best. Your light may intimidate others--but that's not your problem. Your on a mission to live out your God given purpose so people will just have to get used to your fabulousness.

The fulfilled and fabulous woman only surrounds herself with those who can produce and accept positivity. You should give yourself a round of applause, a standing ovation and a pat on the back--because your life produces goodness. Women who lack self-esteem, confidence, trust, self-love...have a hard time being around woman who exude such characteristics. Instead of constantly trying to keep up, subdue, or envy the fulfilled and fabulous--work on the areas in your life that will produce such qualities. The world needs every woman to be her best. Putting Your Best Self Forward Starts Now.

Written by
Yetunde A. Odugbesan
All Rights Reserved.

Setting High Standards

2011-10-16T12:30:00.000-07:00

Never apologize for setting high standards for yourself. Setting standards for yourself and those around you sends a distinct message to the world that you value yourself, your time and that of others.You realize that your life has meaning as well as purpose. Your relationships operate only under authenticity, respect and trust. Those who often set high standards for themselves tend to be highly selective in choosing who they share their lives with. We all must be a little selective when it comes to choosing company.

By operating on higher standards, you continue to raise the bar higher. You raise the bar higher for yourself, friends, family and others. Every area in your life is challenged to do its best. In order to achieve your goals and produce effective work-you must challenge yourself. Reading the biographies of past and present global leaders in the fields of business, politics, technology, science and academics--will reveal to you that they all share a common thread: HIGH STANDARDS.

By challenging yourself, you are essentially aligning your thoughts to produce action. Your personal and public mantra shoud be, "Raising the Bar." Brian Tracy states, “You can become an even more excellent person by constantly setting higher and higher standards for yourself and then by doing everything possible to live up to those standards.”

Written by
Yetunde A. Odugbesan
All Rights Reserved

Behind Every Successful Woman...

2011-10-02T17:54:00.000-07:00

Behind every successful woman is HERSELF. You are the decision maker of your life.

You must always aspire to be the best. Do not settle for less. Women who walk with authority do not comprise their gifts and talents. They do not belittle their ideas, thoughts or actions. They are free from doubt--and believe wholeheartedly in their pursuit and purpose.

Your beliefs and passion for success will exudes and permeate through everyone you come in contact with. Do you believe that you have what it takes to walk with authority? To be successful? To be of service? All you need to do is condition your mind to think in correspondence with your actions.

Authority means to have persuasive force or conviction, mastery in execution or performance, confidence derived from experience or practice and freedom from doubt; belief in yourself and your abilities. Know who you are, know what you want to do, understand your beliefs, convey your values and morals not through speech but through actions. Know exactly what your existence wants to relay to the world. Spend time crafting your message. Your authenticity speaks volumes. Be a force to be reckoned with....rise above the calling to be mediocre, complacent and resentful. Remember, "Your playing small does not serve the world...you were meant to shine."

Written By
Yetunde A. Odugbesan
All Rights Reserved

Where Do You Place Your Security?

2011-09-28T06:29:00.000-07:00

Security means to protect oneself or to be reassured against danger, loss, failure or damage. What makes you feel secure? Where do you place your security? Does being self-sufficient make you feel more secure? Does your education provide you with some sense of security? We spend years in school to secure our place in the global market and aim for high-paying jobs in order to be financially stable...but what happens when the notion of security changes?

Security is not only about being financially stable--having something to fall back on. In fact, security encompasses a myriad of things. Asking yourself about what makes you feel secure, or what you need in order to feel stable can not be solely determined by wealth or position. In fact, we see that the building of relationships are more profitable than relying on "the economic side of life." When you come to the realization that people contribute a great deal to your performance, security and well-being- your attitude towards people begin to change.

People are not indispensable. Relationships are cultivated to help you reach the next level. Don't get to caught up in the pursuit of your goals that you forget the power of building and cultivating relationships. Your "sense of security" is attached to your connection with people.

Written by
Yetunde Odugbesan
All Rights Reserved.

Have You Found Your Purpose Yet?

2011-09-21T08:57:00.000-07:00

Have you found your purpose yet? Do you know what your mission is? What are your dreams, goals and ambitions? These questions offer a constant reminder to make sure that we "make a life out of living." So many people pass through life without finding what it is they will genuinely and truly work for. Life is not about using your position, degrees or accomplishments to solely further your own self. Your position, degrees and accomplishments should be used as a tool to change someone elses life whether big or small. Yes, we may live in an individualistic society where the phrase, "Its all about me," has become the 21st century mantra...but realistically its not all about you. In fact, its not about you at all. Its about how YOU can fill in the void wherever necessary. It about the world will utilize YOUR life to achieve its goals.

If you recall, there were millions of people who have paved the way just for you. Those that you know and those that you will never meet...but remember that there were millions who did just for you. So, who are you not to do it for just one person? When has time become so limited that you forget the golden rules of life: To Pay It Forward. One thing about life is that-the law of attraction is real. Whatever or however you contribute to the world, it will come back you.

Finding your purpose is not about giving back in a grandiose way. Its about turning your skills, talents and gifts into the form of service. Because..."When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds: Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great, and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be." —Patanjali

Written By
Yetunde A. Odugbesan
All Rights Reserved

When Being Selective Goes Too Far...

2011-09-20T08:11:00.001-07:00

Have you come to a point in life where everyone you meet is given the "side eye?" Are you extremely selective when it comes to who you surround yourself with? Do you give people the benefit of the doubt or just "doubt?" These questions are raised to help you examine whether your choices and decision are actually healthy. We live in a society where we depend on social media to communicate with others. Social media has also provided us with the tools of "picking and choosing." But picking and choosing are sometimes unhealthy. We end not giving people a chance to just be themselves.

As we all know, everyone is fighting their own battle. We should not get so caught up in ourselves and our over-top expectations of others-that we loose out on forming healthy relationships. We need to give people a chance. A chance to be a friend, a sister, a colleague, a brother and more. Its great to be selective but you have to understand that others need you...especially those who have never met before.

Don't be an obstacle to yourself. Don't make your guard so high that no one will be able to jump over. Don't be so selective to the point where you become dis-attached to reality as well as developing relationships. Building relationships is extremely important. Life is all about the relationships you build, do not limit your life and what you can develop out of it just because you've taken "picking and choosing," way too far.

Written by
Yetunde Odugbesan
All Rights Reserved

The Power of Being Grateful

2011-08-13T05:55:00.000-07:00

There is power in being grateful. Being grateful means that you appreciate and have a sense of gratitude for everything that comes your way. Being grateful opens the door to more opportunities and blessings and it shuts the door of hopelessness and discontent. Many of us go through life complaining and not realizing how blessed and lucky we are. If you stop and think for a second about how lucky, blessed and favored you are despite it all-you will begin to realize that instead of complaining-you need to be GRATEFUL.

When you adopt a sense of gratefulness, you being to realize that all good and bad things have worked divinely in your favor. Grateful people are able to see the good in bad. They are able to turn every disappointment into an achievement and every experience into life long lesson. Gratitude brings success and in order to sustain success-you need to be genuinely grateful. Knowing the importance of being grateful is not enough-you must live it, show it and be it.

Grateful people understand that their level of success is not by their own doing. They understand that they are a tiny piece of fabric in a whole quilt. Gratefulness brings humility, because you realize that without the power of God, the care and will of good people, and divine life experiences...."Where would you be?" With all that life has given you, you ought to be grateful.

Written by
Yetunde A. Odugbesan
All Rights Reserved.

Just Ask!

2011-07-12T08:14:00.000-07:00

There is power in knowing what you want and letting the world know exactly what it is you desire and need. We all have lofty dreams and desires and simple wants and needs which at times cannot be produced by our own efforts alone. You need to realize that your desires, wants and needs are at times in the hands of someone else. It may be a complete stranger, friend, co-worker, boss, colleague or family-member that knows the answer, holds the key, or has the map to show you the way. But, how will anyone know what it is you need, want or desire if you don't ask or speak up.

At times we become so arrogant in our talents, skills, knowledge and experience that we forget to ask for help. We believe that we can do it all on our own-our society leads us to believe this fallacy. YOU may know how great you are but sometimes you just need to SAY it. Sometimes you need to ask your boss for a raise or a promotion even if you feel they should already know. Sometimes you need to bring attention to whatever it is you feel is already evident-don't take it personal...these are the tricks and trades of life. Sometimes you need to just simply ask or tell, do not be afraid to say what it is you feel and want--if you believe then you will receive. The universe does not have a choice but to align with your wishes and commands.

Lois P. Frankel, PhD, said it best, "Nice girls don't ask, but smart women do. Nice girls don't get the corner office." Its great to be nice, but you need to be nice and smart...be strategic. In essence, be bold, be powerful and speak up. You have every right to experience the fruits of your labor. Don't underestimate the power of asking nor the power of people to give you exactly what it is you want and DESERVE! BE BOLD and JUST ASK!

I recommend you buying the book above: "Ask For It," by author Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever.

Written by
Yetunde A. Odugbesan
All Rights Reserved.

Speak LIFE to Your Life

2011-07-03T17:25:00.000-07:00

Speak words that will edify and uplift you to newer heights. You don't have to wait for the new self-help book, a quote or friendly advice...you have the power to change your emotions, thought process and outlook on life. Once we understand that within us and through us...holds a multitude of power and energy that can transform any darkness into light, any sickness into wholeness and any fear into faith...thats when life fully begins.

Speak Life into your life. Speak of great things to come. Expect only the best and do not settle nothing less. Envision only good things happening in your life and that is what will happen. James Allen said it best, "Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil." God gives your the vision and grace, now its your job to make sure that vision comes to fruition--you already have the grace to carry you through---all you need is to tap into your power and the rest will follow.

By speaking words that will edify and bring life, you automatically change your thought process. You begin to look at situations in a different perspective. You become more grateful and thankful...things or situations that may upset you are no longer given the power to do so. Your words, thought process, and outlook on life have everything to do with the type of life you want live and lead, the type of person you want to be and present, and type of person you are to yourself and others.

Written by
Yetunde A. Odugbesan
All Rights Reserved.

The Importance of Taking Care of Yourself

2011-06-27T19:15:00.000-07:00

The most important thing in this world is-YOU! We too often neglect ourselves in order to give attention to all the areas in our lives. Your health and well-being should never be comprised by your own expense. You cannot be superman or superwoman without being super on the inside and out. Everyone needs a down time-a time to recuperate, reorganize, and re-energize. The world needs you at your best, therefore you must always give yourself the best.

We live in a society where we are constantly on the go. Every day comes with a new goal to be accomplished, a new relationship to nurture, new responsibilities to tend too...life does not stop. But, you hold the power to adjust it and re-shape it to your own speed. Although life goes on with or without you--your life does not go on without you. Your life needs YOU. In order to live the life you envisioned for yourself, you must take care of yourself. You should take the necessary steps to live a more wholesome and well-rounded life.

The importance of taking care of yourself goes far beyond the outer. It involves eating and living a healthy life, finding time to relax and rest, making sure you have your own alone time to rejuvenate, surrounding yourself with positive people who will not sap your energy, being able to say 'no,' and realizing that it is imperative to take care of yourself! Remember putting your best self forward is all about working towards being your best both inside and out.

Written by
Yetunde A. Odugbesan
All Rights Reserved.

Just Say YES!

2011-06-07T11:06:00.000-07:00

"Success has no limits when you say YES!" Just say YES to life and everything good that it has to offer. Often times we dwell too much on the word NO, that it hinders our mind, body and soul from receiving. We focus on all the NOs in the world and become discouraged and frightened to say just say YES. Everything that we come across in the world pushes us further away from the saying YES and pushes us closer to saying no. We are often times perplexed, discouraged, and frightened to step out into the unknown and to experience the great things that life as to offer.

In order to experience the good of life--we need to change our thinking. We need to see every NO as a YES and every opportunity in life whether good or bad as a means to achieving and experiencing happiness. When you resolve in yourself that no matter what your current situation or surrounding circumstances tell you--you must always see the 'YES' side of it. For every NO there is YES!

Success has no limits--and success is not scared of "NO." Success laughs at difficulty, idleness, discouragement, and road blocks. A successful person is one who has the ability to turn every No into a Yes. He or she has the ability to make the bad into good, to make a meal into a feast and to turn an ordinary life into an extraordinary journey. Be a YES person today---and I guarantee you that your life will change for the better.

The Importance of Finding Balance

2011-05-19T19:46:00.000-07:00

Oh, how we ignore the importance of balancing everything we do in our lives. We live in a society where multi-tasking is a necessity-but no one is given a guide book on how to do it. Balancing requires passion, responsibility and expectations. As you can see, I purposely did not state that balancing requires time because the main excuse we use that goes against trying to balance our lives is time. The more we focus on time the more we stray away from balancing. The more we give excuses to ourselves and justify our actions for not finding time to spend with our loved ones or friends, for not giving the time needed to study and for not giving the time needed to yourself. Let's not focus on time--balancing your life requires more than time.

Balancing your love life, professional life, academic life, family life, social life and your life first and for most requires PASSION. When you have a passion for something--your attention to it comes naturally. You automatically give attention to your passion. Your passion can include people, places and things. No matter where you are, what you are doing or who you are with --your body, mind and soul will find a way to connect with that special person, that special place, that special cause and that special thing.

Balancing your life and everything that comes with it also requires RESPONSIBILITY. You are responsible for giving attention to people, places, causes and things that need you. As a human being we are all responsible for some thing or someone. To whom much is given, much is required. As a string of yarn in a big fabric that connects you to those who love you and care about you--it is your responsibility to love and care for them back.

Lastly, balancing requires a sense of EXPECTATIONS. People expect you to return phone calls, to reply to emails, to complete your share of the project, to live up to your potential, to excel, to be a good role model and to simple be there-be available for them...is that too much to ask? We like to forget expectations, we complain about expectations and we shrug against expectations. You cannot ignore what is expected of you. As a friend, a colleague, a brother, a sister, a loved one, a pastor, a doctor and so much more--you are expected to be there...not all the time but at least some of the time. Understanding that people expect something from you helps you to understand the importance of finding balance in your life.

Written by
Yetunde Odugbesan
All Rights Reserved.

Unmovable, Insurmountable and Undefeatable

2011-05-19T18:21:00.000-07:00

When you look deep within yourself, there lies a hidden compartment where strength lives. Everything in life that happens to you whether good or bad--is all for your benefit. When you look back on past events that almost stole your happiness, your trust and your whole being--you realize now that you did not die but in fact you are alive and well. The aftermath of failure, downfall, depression, sickness, and disappointments are success, happiness, and achievements. When you resolve in yourself and in your mind that nothing absolutely nothing can stop you--that is when life begins.

You are unmovable, insurmountable and undefeatable. Nothing can take away your pride, happiness, success or your self being without your permission. You must go through life with authority, believing that you can overcome any and everything. Being an overcomer is a choice and a lifestyle. An overcomer is a person who goes through with an understanding that everything happens for his or her own good.

I challenge you to be an overcomer today. To go through life with authority and to tap into your vault of strength. Show the world that you are indeed unstoppable. Remember that you have the power to change the direction of your life. Being an overcomer is a choice. It is a lifestyle.

The Anyway Challenge

2011-05-05T09:27:00.000-07:00

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;

Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.Written By Mother Teresa

Print out your "Anyway Challenge Card" and hang it on your wall--to remind yourself to do your best anyway.-Yetunde

You Need People-You Cannot Do It All By Yourself

2011-05-02T17:32:00.000-07:00

Living in such an individualistic society has conditioned many of us to believe that we can achieve whatever it is we want all by ourselves. Life is not that way--you need people. Everyone needs a support system. You cannot become wealthy, successful, or accomplished without the help of people. Whether you realize it or not, hundreds of people have assisted and escorted you to where you are now. For a moment in their lives they decided to put their focus, attention and resources on you so that you can reach your goals. Thank them for that. Thank those who have helped you big or small--it is by everyones collective effort that you are where you are today.

After getting some key advice from Valerie Jarrett, she said as a woman leader you need to find balance. She stated that you cannot forget those you helped you to where you are nor should you neglect them-because you need them. We at times get so caught up in ourselves, we get so caught up in our skills, talents, credentials, pride and ego that we fail to reach across the aisle and ASK. Has it become a burden to simply ask another woman for help, has it become so difficult to ask for what it is you want or have we become so prideful that we believe we have all the power and resources to build ourselves?

Welcome new people into your life. There are truly good people out there who care about you and are willing to selflessly help you reach your goals. Don't be tainted by past experiences--don't build walls too high because no one will be tall enough to tear it down. In order for you to move forward-you need people to take you there. Your wits, credentials and personality can only take you but you so far...understanding your purpose, accomplishing your dreams and living a healthy and fulfilled life includes more than just you. It involves cultivating relationship, learning from people, being able to trust others, opening yourself up to new friendships, and being open to advice and criticism. You Need People.

Written by

Yetunde A. Odugbesan
All Rights Reserved.

The Art of Jealousy

2011-05-01T10:44:00.000-07:00

Philosopher and Thinker Osho says it best when it comes to jealousy, he states, "Because of jealousy you are in constant suffering; you become mean to others. And because of jealousy you start becoming phony, because you start pretending. You start pretending things that you don’t have, you start pretending things which you CAN’T have, which are not natural to you. You become more and more artificial. Imitating others, competing with others, what else can you do? If somebody has something and you don’t have it, and you don’t have a natural possibility of having it, the only way is to have some cheap substitute for it."

Now what is the root cause of jealousy and how does one overcome it? Root causes to jealousy are growing insecurities, lack of self-esteem and confidence, competitiveness (a belief that you must compete with others to be successful), a reduced level of self-love, always comparing yourself, your accomplishments, your material possessions, your family structure, your relationships and more to that of others (comparativenesss breeds competitiveness), being in a state of envy-which is the pre-development of full blown jealousy, possessiveness also breeds jealousy, a lack of knowledge or awareness about who you are, and last not but least not being alert to your inner emotions or thoughts may produce destructive behavior and attitudes. These root causes must be identified and dealt with one by one. The person who fills his or her receptacle with envious thoughts will end up living a life of unsatisfaction, in constant torment and unhappiness...because for jealous people, nothing is ever enough.

A jealous person is an illustration of deeply rooted issues that has consumed his or her way of thinking and acting. A jealous person does not realize that their destiny, purpose, timing, mission, and over all life experiences are solely unique and incomparable. They believe that the goodness in your life takes away or continues to diminish the goodness or possibilities in their life. So the higher you rise, the bigger you get and the more relevant you are--in their minds you are somehow or in someway an obstacle to their possibilities for success. Not knowing that there is enough room in the garden for every flower; they rather kill your growth and that of others to make room for themselves (signs of selfishness). The pre-development of jealousy is envy. At first envy is the feeling of wanting or coveting someone elses belonging. If these feelings are not dealt with overtime--it turns into full blown jealousy which turns into hatred. You see envious people want your outward signs of success--jealous people want your inner workings, they rather give up their own personality, behavior, spirituality, and attitude in order to become you. Beware of friends, family-members, associates, colleagues, and more who exhibit these traits. An experience of projected jealousy can harm you...you don't deserve to be stained or battered by someone elses lack of self-appreciation.

In order to overcome jealousy one must understand that every life is incomparable and unique. Envy is an emotion that everyone experiences--but one must have the power to control it. You have to be alert when it comes to your emotions. You cannot let your emotions over power you and turn you into something that you were never meant to be. Self-love may be the cure to all emotional sickness. Every now and then sit back and think about how great you are, how unique and distinctive you are, what talents and skills you have and how your life makes a difference. At a young age we are all taught to be competitive. But, you must be so alert and in tune to your emotions when you see competitiveness turning into envy. There are two types of competitive people. Person # 1 competes to be better than someone else--so for him its also a race against someone else. Person # 2 competes to better himself. He races side-by-side learning as he goes. You see, having a real knowledge about who are--is the key to everything. When you know yourself and who you want to be--you will never let emotions overcome you.

...Because when you love yourself enough, there will be no room for envy or jealousy.

Written by
Yetunde A. Odugbesan
All Rights. Reserved

Inward Fires

2011-04-30T07:25:00.000-07:00

At times do you wonder why the fire in your passion continues to burn? Or why pessimistic thoughts continue to swirl in your head? It is because you are constantly adding fuel by your thoughts and actions to the different fires you have burning in your life. We unconsciously give life to emotions, behaviors and attitudes that can either push us forward or hold us back. No one can put out the flames in your life without your consent.

There are two type of flames and two type of people. Flame one is lit to burn rubble, burn debris or to incinerate what needs to be removed. The type of person who starts flame one has come to the conclusion that, "Its Not Over, Until I Say Its Over," and decides once and for all to burn every negative thought, every past hurt and to move on with his of her life. Flame two is started as a result of holding onto anger, negative thoughts and past hurt. He or she has been adding fuel to the fire for years. The type of person who started flame two does not realize the house has been burning in fact he or she has no clue how it started or how to stop it. These type of flames are inward fires that burn within us.

You have the power to light up your dream, to burn all the debris and rubble in your life away or to let your emotions and attitudes grow into something bigger that will end up consuming you. Everyone has some type of inward fire--one that pushes them unto greater heights or one that burns up their dreams and desires. Which fire will you extinguish today?

Written by
Yetunde A. Odugbesan
All Rights Reserved.

Power of Perseverance

2011-04-18T19:13:00.000-07:00

Perseverance is what will separate you from the rest. The completion of your goals is not about how smart you are, how well connected you are or how much money you have--its about your level of perseverance. Ecclesiastes 9:11 states, "I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all."

Perseverance requires patience and passion. You must be patient with yourself and others regarding the completion of your goals. You must also have passion for what it is you want to achieve. A type of passion that is unbreakable regardless of what life may hurl at you. Success requires certain ingredients, it requires: faith, vision, focus, hard work, strategic decision making and most of all perseverance. You may have all the requirements to be a success but if you cannot endure or persevere in order to see your plans into fruition-then you have missed the mark.

Perseverance is the answer to life. Life is unpredictable and presents so many challenges, obstacles, experiences-but if you can persevere through it all- you will be able to see the glory of life. People give up on their dreams, goals, responsibilities, and relationships because they lack patience and the power to persevere. Don't give up on yourself and your goals no matter what life may throw at you. The power of perseverance achieves great results.

Written by
Yetunde A, Odugbesan
All Right Reserved

Prepare Yourself

2011-04-09T13:41:00.000-07:00

Before success..before marriage...before children--you have to prepare yourself. Life comes in stages and each stage is a preparation for the next. Everyone wants success but are you prepared for it? Are you currently in a position to receive it, is your mind prepared for such thing, and have you rearranged the various areas in your life to accommodate success or whatever it is you seek? Opportunity presents itself in many disguises but we often turn it away due to feelings of uncertainty or not being "prepared" enough to take such opportunity.

Preparedness comes in various forms. If you have a desire to start a business-then have you done your research, are your finances somewhat in order, have you sought out advice on what steps you need to take. If you have a desire to settle down and meet "the one"-so are you keeping yourself open to receive such thing and are you surrounding yourself with people who are supportive and encourage your pursuit to settle down. Your desire is to further your education-so have you researched what school is best for you, have you interned and networked in order to build your portfolio, and are you laying the foundation now so that can have a successful professional and academic life.

You may not know it but there are opportunities, gifts, business proposals, divine meetings, great experiences and more that are coming to you-so prepare yourself! Be ready and be open to expect great things. The world needs you at your best so you must put every effort in putting your best self forward. Each stage in life is an opportunity to prepare for the next. Prepare Yourself for Greatness! Read the bios of your favorite leaders or people who inspire you and you will realize how much they have prepared and worked to reach such heights.

Written by

Yetunde A. Odugbesan

All Rights Reserved.

Re-Claiming Your "Crown"

2011-03-30T19:29:00.000-07:00

Re-claiming your crown means to reclaim and restore your self-worth. To think and see yourself as a royal human being. How we see ourselves is what we will project out into the world. Knowing your self-worth is extremely important. Everyday we are bombarded with things, people, experiences and more that push us away from who we truly are. We end up claiming crowns, purposes, missions, experiences, and pursuits that are meant for other people. Have we focused so much on others that we forgot to claim on our crown, purpose, mission, experience and pursuit? Are we living that life that is truly intended for us.

Life is about what you have to offer to the world. Whats important is how you use your own purpose and mission to affect your surroundings and others. Finding out who you are, why you are here and what you are worth is the real reward of life. Your outlook on life depends on your outlook of self. Where you want be, what you want to accomplish, and who you want to become...is predicated on self-worth...how worthy do you see yourself. How worthy do you see yourself as the benefactor of your dreams?

Today is the day to think of yourself as a Queen or King-the benefactor of all things noble and lofty. The recipient of all things prestigious. You have the power to influence, change, motivate, empower, and re-arrange. No matter the circumstances or situations that may challenge to see yourself as otherwise-you have the real power to re-claim your "Crown."

Written by

Yetunde A. Odugbesan

All Rights Reserved.

NO Comparison!

2011-03-21T07:44:00.000-07:00

We are bombarded daily with advertisements, commericals, magazines, reality shows and more that continue to push up away from our true authentic selfs. As woman material wants continue to become the "definer" of who we are. Have you been so inundated with how other people speak, dress, how they live their lives, what professions they have--that you slowly forget your own identity and individuality? Every individual is different-unique in their own way. The more one fixates their eyes on someone else you begin to downrate yourself. Why compare yourself to others when there is NO COMPARISON?

We compare our lives to others constantly whether unknowingly or knowingly. We measure ourselves against other peoples timeline, other peoples successes, other peoples life choices. Everyone has their own divine timeline, their own success, their own purpose, their own destiny, their own way of living, their own way of expressing themselves, their own way of communication--everyone is different. By focusing on the success of others-you miss out on making your own mark and impact. By focusing on other people's timeline-you miss out on divine opportunities and experiences. By focusing on somone else's purpose and way of ministry-you may loose or even miss your own divine calling. Why waste time focusing on someone else when the world should be focusing on you. Every second you have here on earth should be spent in cultivating your mission, achieving your goals, finding your purpose-so that if someone wanted to compare themselves to you it should bring them closer to their authentic self not further away from it.

You are the one and only, wonderfully made, equal to the task, perfect with each step, maturer with each walk, authentic from head to toe-there is no comparison to you. Like everyone else you have much to offer. The world awaits you-yes you! Show the world who you are, why you are here and what you have to offer. Don't down rate, downgrade or downsize yourself because of anyone. Don't compare yourself to others rather be inspired or empowered by them and use them as an example to better yourself.

Written by

Yetunde A. Odugbesan

The Power of Forgiveness and Letting Go

2011-03-13T17:42:00.000-07:00

Forgiving others-heals the soul. What does is mean to truly forgive? It means to give up resentment against the person, to forget how they have hurt you, and not to hold grudges. By holding grudges you are inflicting more pain and frustration upon yourself. The process of forgiveness deals primarily with the "victim." By forgiving others for big or small offences-you are giving up your attachment to anger. Do not let negative experiences turn you into someone you were not meant to be.

Disappointment, loss, pain, and upset are experiences of life. How you handle those experiences will help you to become a more compassionate, loving and forgiving person or it can turn you into a more temperamental, angry and bitter person. We must understand that we will all come across people who will rub us the wrong way-but we are all meant to overcome negative experiences.

The power of forgiveness-letting go and letting God...is real. The power of real forgiveness heals the heart, strengthens the weak and cleanses out any trace of malice. Being able to forgive and forget removes whatever may be hindering you from moving forward. It removes the spiritual block between you and God. Give yourself and others the chance to live fully by being able to forgive first.

Written by

Yetunde A. Odugbesan

All Rights Reserved.

Am I My Sister's Keeper?

2011-03-01T09:11:00.000-08:00

As we usher into the month of March which is "Women's Month," let us take the time to reflect on our own contribution towards the upliftment of women. A simple question to ask yourself is, "Am I my sister's keeper?" Have you took the time out to embrace another woman? Have you put the needs of another woman whether it be your mother, aunt, sister, co-worker or friend before your own? Have you experienced and exhibited true joy and happiness for another woman's blessings? Do you believe you have done all that you can to be a better role model, example, friend, and confidant to a fellow woman?

"Am I my sister's keeper," is not only a thought-provoking question-it is a obligation. It is our moral obligation as women to congratulate, celebrate and uplift ourselves and other women. It is our responsibility to ensure that we create avenues of success and open doors for each other. Where would we all be if it were not women- who gave us life and taught each of us how to be a woman. It is important for each of us as fellow woman to nurture and empower each others talents and gifts. We are all intertwined and woven into the same fabric. Every woman all over the world has a story that is meant for another woman. There were woman who fought against injustice, racism, sexism, inequality and more on your behalf yet they did not know you but felt it was there responsibility to make life easier for you. It is your duty to pay it forward.

Do not let fear, envy, insecurity, low self-esteem hinder you from being the woman you are suppose to be. Do not give power to emotions that will dis-empower another woman. Granted every woman will not be your best friend but it does not take anything away from you to treat another woman as you would like to be treated. Being your sister's keeper is about helping another woman find herself, love herself and to make something out of herself- give her that chance.

Written by

Yetunde A. Odugbesan

All Rights Reserved.

Transition Into Greatness

2011-02-13T19:38:00.000-08:00

It's time for your TRANSITION. It's time for you to make that transition into greatness. You need to realize that you are the heir of all things lofty, noble and great. You must change your mindset from limited thinking to kingdom thinking. Don't worry about your current circumstance or situation--for tomorrow will welcome a new you. Don't determine your future destination by your current location. You are in the midst of transitioning into something greater.

Its your time, your moment, your stage, your opportunity--to make your mark. Life is what you make it, don't limit your life by limited thinking. Think BIG, Dream BIG, and Live BIG. By thinking bigger and greater things for yourself-you will begin to attract bigger and better things. Transitioning into your greatness has a lot to do with your mindset and attitude.

Limited thinking stunts growth and demobilizes your ability to move forward. You must put into action every good thought and every inspiring dream. Do not settle for less, do not sell God short-he will and can do everything he promised to do in your life. Do not sell yourself short-you are meant to manifest and live out the glory that God has intended for you. You have every right to be great, bold, beautiful, excellent, rich, wealthy, intelligent, and more. Think BIG, Dream BIG, and Live BIG.

Written By
Yetunde Odugbesan
All Rights Reserved.

The Real Meaning of Wealth

2011-02-11T18:57:00.000-08:00

Too often we equate wealth with monetary possessions. We define wealth by assets, bank accounts, property and more. By continuously associating wealth with money we forget to analyze the real meaning of wealth. Wealth encompasses both the tangible and intangible. Wealth means much more than money or material possession. Wealth is being able to live your life to its full potential.

Wealth is the ability to create, earn and save money. Wealth is the ability to donate money whether large or small to philanthropic organizations. Wealth is experiencing your greatness and living your purpose. Wealth is being able to enjoy your life, the people around you and your profession. Living wealth is the conscious act to make a difference in the lives of your family as well as your extended loved ones. Wealth is the real pursuit of happiness.

When we begin to quantify wealth in numeric terms we loose sight of the intangible things that make a real difference. Chasing money and material possessions all in the name of acquiring wealth will not fill emotional voids. Lets chase things that will accrue interest like nurturing your relationships with others, living a life of purpose and leaving your imprint on this world. There is nothing wrong with prosperity, being rich or even well-off....but while experiencing the "goods" of life lets not neglect the real "wealth" of life.

Written by
Yetunde A. Odugbesan
All Rights Reserved.

The Power of Grace & Favor

2011-01-31T08:45:00.000-08:00

Grace is being able to prosper no matter what the circumstances may be. Grace is being able to smile and have a good attitude when everything around you tempts you to do otherwise. Grace is finding happiness no matter the outcome. Grace is keeping calm under immense pressure. Grace is loving yourself when others don't. Grace is accepting yourself for who you are when society or the media says you should change. Grace is being able to pray when you haven't seen results. Grace is being able to attend church faithfully while your members talk about you, gossip about you, envy you and constantly show you a negative representation of what a Christian should be. Grace is you being able to be you...accomplish your dreams...become a success...stay beautiful inside and out when the world challenges you to be otherwise. Thats Grace.

Favor is getting a job you are under-qualified for. Favor is being at the right place at the right time. Favor is meeting people who find it their duty to help you. Favor is divine help, a surprising assistance, a baffling reward. Everyday many of you are experiencing grace and favor. You don't even realize how many times God has been sending angels to help, assist and reward you. Was is not you whose still alive today? Was it not you who received a promotion, a new job and started graduate school in the midst of tough times? Was not you you who expanded your business in the midst of tough times? It was you.

Let us recognize how God continues to intercede on our behalf. How he continues to give us favor and grace--how he continues to protect us-even from ourselves. His grace and favor is sufficient enough.

Written by
Yetunde A. Odugbesan
All Rights Reserved.

Judas, Brutus and You

2011-01-29T17:44:00.000-08:00

We all have a person or know of someone who is similar to Judas or Brutus. Have you ever experienced betrayal from someone that left you scarred or bitter? If so, you are lucky. If you have experienced the betrayal of a friend, confidant, associate or family member-count yourself blessed. There are negative situations that are meant to kick you into your destiny and purpose.

Every person whether good or bad serves a purpose. Some betrayals occur to teach you to be more cautious, stronger, wiser, develop a forgiving heart or to guide someone else. You must believe that such experiences are meant to help you develop and grow. Ralph Steadman said, "The betrayal of people's good will are being done for the best and they actually ARE being done for the best." Everyone who comes into your life is meant to teach you something-what would life be without negative experiences? Without Judas, Brutus and even you.

Everyone has a role to play in the life of someone else. How have you been in the life of others? Judas, Brutus and maybe you...have missed out on their destiny due to being a conspirator against someone else's purpose. One the other hand, if you have been betrayed count yourself blessed and highly favored. A diamond doesn't go through nothing to become a diamond...it goes through fire and pressure.

Written by
Yetunde A. Odugbesan
All Rights Reserved

Dreams VS Reality

2011-01-27T13:43:00.000-08:00

How many times do you sacrifice your dreams because reality says you should do so? As we journey through life we have ideas and dreams of how our lives should be. We develop certain ideals as yard-sticks-but reality soon sets in.

When we think of reality we think of being in a state of what's real. The role of reality is to wake you up from dreaming but it should not stop you from dreaming nor should it stop you from turning your dreams into reality. Reality is self perceived-you have the power to not only change your surroundings but to create your own reality.

Don't let the power of "reality" dictate what you can or cannot achieve. Remember reality is self-perceived. Do not let reality control you. You create reality-don't let it create you!

Written by
Yetunde A. Odugbesan
All Rights Reserved.

Exceptional People

2011-01-25T09:27:00.000-08:00

There are some people who are exceptionally gifted in what they do. They are exceptional doctors, exceptional speakers, exceptional scholars...they are just exceptional. Mediocre or ordinary does not define them. No matter what they do, there is a light that follows them. They are not meant to work or live in the shadows-they are called to shine.

What people do not understand about exceptional people is that there is a divine favor over them. They are selected and selective people. Their gifts and talents always end up being used for a greater cause. Although there talents and gifts make them public people, they are cautious in sharing themselves with others. They are public yet private-exceptional people.

What makes a person exceptional-is not the businesses they start, its not how much money they accumulate, its not the amount of degrees they've earned, its not the kind of labels they wear...its how much of their lives touches others. Its how there businesses, degrees, stature, and style change things for the better. Exceptional people understand that its not only about them-they understand that they are the vessel.

Exceptional people are loved, envied, supported, opposed, adored and criticized. The sun cannot be out shined, covered or battled with nor can the same be done to an exceptional person-they are meant to shine in their given space and allotted time. Every one's calling matures at different stages-some are meant to be listeners, talkers, movers, or shakers. Accept your time and focus on your mission and be exceptional in the meantime.

Written by
Yetunde A. Odugbesan
All Rights Reserved.

Gardening Is Similar to Living Life

2011-01-21T12:54:00.000-08:00

In the garden of life, how much do you plant or uproot? Do you focus on beautifying your surroundings by planting flowers or uprooting weeds? By focusing solely on planting flowers one neglects to uproot the weeds secretly growing. If you do not work on uprooting the weeds in your garden they will eventually cover and destroy the beautiful flowers you worked so hard to plant.

Gardening is similar to living life. You can tell which gardens are well-kept and nurtured and which ones are left neglected by their owners. We are the gardeners of our own life. It is up to us to plant, water, and nurture the various areas of our lives. Our lives are similar to gardens-we toil and work hard to create firm foundations-then we plant seeds similar to chasing and achieving our dreams-we water, uproot, and nurture the things and people needed to take us to the next stage of life.

If only we could treat our lives like gardens and put as much effort into laying the proper foundations than showcasing our flowers-our lives could be so much better. Gardening is similar to living life: strive to be the best gardener, worry about your own flowers and not that of others and don't forget to uproot the weeds.

Written By
Yetunde A. Odugbesan
All Rights Reserved.

Possessing Your Possession

2011-01-17T10:34:00.000-08:00

What does it mean to possess your possession? It means to have the things that are divinely meant for you. To experience, hold, nurture, live and to be in control of the gifts that have been set aside for you. How many of you believe you are possessing your possession? In order to possess good things in your life, you must be open to receiving good things.

We live in a society that doubts and questions everything. Although its great to take precaution-but by being too cautious one may miss out on great people, opportunities, and experiences. Do not let past experiences, fear, and lack of confidence hinder you from possessing all that God and this world has intended for you to have.

When you know who you are-you know what you want. By knowing what you want-you know what to expect. Expect and welcome the best things into your life. Walk with faith and believe that you have the ability and the power to possess all that is great and beautiful in your life. Today is the day where possessing your inheritance starts now.

Written by
Yetunde A. Odugbesan
All Rights Reserved.

God's Perfect Timing

2010-12-21T09:54:00.000-08:00

Every one's timing is different. And God's own timing is different from our own. Don't race against time, people or yourself. Every plan or goal in your life will happen and come into fruition as its destined time. Everyone is waiting for something...waiting to be married, waiting for a new job, waiting for a child, waiting for healing, waiting...waiting...and waiting. And as we wait we continue to grow impatient. We begin to measure ourselves against everyone else's timing. We being to look at others and question how come them and not me. And as we grow impatient we look for other alternatives to fill the void of waiting.

We end up with the wrong job, wrong husband or wife, wrong life goal's, wrong pursuits...all because we could not wait. Waiting is the most difficult thing to do but yet the most worthwhile. During your period of waiting--pray, think and evaluate. Pray that God gives you the strength, wisdom and contentedness to wait. Think about God's own timing rather than placing your mind on a worldly clock. And evaluate yourself. Are you currently ready and prepared to receive what it is you have been waiting for?

Trust God to bring into fruition all the plans he has for your life. Do not measure yourself against other people. Do not covet others blessings. Blessings come to many people at different times. Rejoice when God's perfect timing happens in other people's life. God has something in store--even for you.

Written by
Yetunde A. Odugbesan
All Rights Reserved.

Success Is The Fulfillment of Purpose

2010-12-19T06:45:00.000-08:00

Remember being successful does not mean you have fulfilled your purpose. You can be successful at something that has absolutely nothing to do with your sole purpose, calling, or mission. Real Success is the fulfillment of your purpose. Do not rush into a career or project that is not meant for you to achieve. Or even worse trying to achieve someone else dreams or goals. Evaluate your motives and question your desires. The worst thing in life is be covetous of someone else's calling. Pursue your own purpose and success will find you.

Its important to understand that success does not happen overnight. It takes preparation, hard work and persistence to accomplish things. Before you embark on this journey called success there is one thing you need to understand: success is not a race nor is it a competition, its a journey. Success is the end result of execution of purpose, vision and perseverance. Success should not be only measured by riches or prosperity-material things is another result of the execution of purpose, vision and perseverance.

Search your heart and ask God to direct you to your purpose. Remember when you live a life of purpose you also live a life of passion. And passion brings you joy not burden. If you are successful but miserable, rich but burdened, prosperous yet not content: evaluate and question your desires and motives. Remember real success is the fulfillment of purpose.

Written by

Yetunde A. Odugbesan

All Rights Reserved.

A Confident Woman

2010-12-13T13:06:00.000-08:00

A confident woman is a strong woman. She is rooted in her values and convicted by her truths. She walks with authority and does not settle for less. A confident woman is a hard-working woman, who is aware of her gifts and basks in her accomplishments. Are you a confident woman?

Here are ten steps to building your confidence:
1. Be comfortable in your own skin.
2. Look good and feel good.
3. Work towards becoming a better you.
4. Write your goals on paper.
5. Read self-help books.
6. Surround yourself with positive people.
7. Discover your passions and strengths.
8. Speak Up.
9. Look Up.
10. Love yourself.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”-Maryanne Williamson

Written by
Yetunde Odugbesan

Strive For Quality Not Quantity

2010-12-08T08:24:00.000-08:00

"The quality, not the longevity, of one's life is what is important," said Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. The quality of your life should be your main priority. The word quality means, superiority or grade of excellence. Striving for quality instead of quantity can be applicable to many things.

Quality versus quantity in the arena of friends: its not the number of friends or relationships you have its the value and quality that you receive out of those relationships. Quality versus quantity in the arena of professions: its not about how much money you make or how many times you held a leadership title, its about the skills and talents you brought to the table. Do people remember you for having a great position or do they remember you for being a great leader.

Quality versus Quantity should be a public motto for all. William A Foster states, "Quality is never an accident; it is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, intelligent direction and skillful execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives." Today you should resolve with the world and yourself to live a life worthwhile. To live a life filled with substance and value. Avoid placing your security and happiness in things. Seek for that which will leave you long lasting happiness instead of instant gratification. More is not always better and less may sometimes be the best.

Its not about how much you have, how much you spent, how many things you acquired...its about what you do with everything life has given you. How do you spend your time? How do you spend your money? What do you do with the things life has presented to you?

Written by
Yetunde A. Odugbesan

The Importance of Keeping Good Company

2010-12-05T07:07:00.000-08:00

Who do you surround yourself with? What type of company do you keep? Who do you let into your life? It is essential to always evaluate the company you keep. People have the power to empower and dis-empower. People can build you up to tear you down. Choose wisely and pick selectively when it comes to the company you keep.

Do you surround yourself with people as passionate as you are? Or are you surrounded by people who are mediocre and satisfied with where they are now? Are you surrounded by ambitious people or those who lack drive and persistence? Do you eat and dine with those who have questionable motives? These are questions you need to ask yourself. Its not about being paranoid, its reality. The road to success requires vision, wisdom and action. You must envision yourself at the finish line before you get there. You must have wisdom to make the right decisions even down to picking friends. You must take action: uproot those who will not take you closer to your goals. Help those who are seeking to experience the best out of their life. And take full action and responsibility for everything.

The importance of keeping good company is essential. Our youth today do not quite fully grasp the importance of surrounding themselves with good people. The road to success is not an individual journey. Success is not an isolated experience, it the cumulative effort of hundred maybe thousands of people who have ushered you into your destiny. You must surround yourself with people as motivated and passionate as you are. You will never find the sheep in the midst of wolves nor can you find light and day during the same time. You owe more to yourself and your future, do not let the company you keep delay or hinder you from experiencing your best self.

Written by

Yetunde A. Odugbesan

"Do"

2010-12-01T09:29:00.000-08:00

The word "do" is an incredible word. It means to put something into action, to perform, to produce, to bring about something. Everyday we are doing things. Whether it be in performing our daily duties or being productive...the word "do" is constantly in motion. Are you using the word "do" to its full potential? Lets change the definition of do to: put something into GREATER action, to perform GREATER things, to bring about something GREATER. Let raise the bar in our daily performance, lets do it better.

What is stopping you from taking that leap of faith in your business ventures, academic pursuits, relationships and more. Once you realize that the first step to doing extraordinary things depend on your sole action to "do" you become one step closer to realizing your goals. Do not give your yourself or your thought to the things or to people who dis-empower you but think of that which will empower you. Remember think of things that are noble, lofty and sublime.

Stop worrying about things that are holding you back instead realize what you possess that will take you forward. You do not need to be a millionaire or an esteemed practitioner or professor to do something great. You are alive and that is all you need. Lets raise the bar in our daily performance, in our attitudes and duties, lets do it better.

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Yetunde A. Odugbesan

The Basics of Etiquette

2010-11-17T09:00:00.000-08:00

How many of us are poor in the etiquette department? Etiquette is a code of behavior or an expected form of social behavior. Etiquette is another social rule to help you effectively maneuver in society. Etiquette will help you to put your best self forward. Here are some basics tips on how develop your social grace:

1. Say Thank you. Saying thank you shows that you are appreciative and grateful for the gesture that was bestowed unto you no matter how big or small.

2. Say You Welcome. Acknowledge when someone is thanking you or appreciative of your services.

3. Say Excuse Me. When interrupting a person appropriately say excuse me.

4. Dress Appropriately. Yes, dress appropriately to occasions. Every occasion or venue warrants a specific dress code. If you have the ability and the means to dress appropriately then do so. Do not let your appearance hinder you from opportunities. Dress the part. Dress your best.

5. Mind Your Eating Habits. We all love to eat but think before you gulf down a turkey while at a dinner meeting. Eat quietly and be in control of your food. Do not let your food control you.

6. Refrain from Using Curse Words. Refrain from using words that are not appealing to the hear. Do not let anyone get the best of you especially in your work place. Refrain from using insulting words to get your point across.

7. Be Hospitable. If you are having guests over, be hospitable. Be welcoming.

8. Be Nice. Just be nice. When you are naturally nice all the 7 tips of etiquette above will come easily to you. If you have an issue that is hindering you from putting your best self forward then address that issue and work daily to change your attitude.

9. Be On Time. Be Punctual. In the world of business-time is everything. Don't miss out on an opportunity due to lack of discipline.

10. Know When to Keep Quiet. Know when its your turn to speak and when its your turn to keep quiet. Don't always be the first person talk. Don't worry about getting noticed, your appearance and personality will speak first before you open your mouth. Know when to talk.

11. Give Gifts/Presents and present them nicely. Its important to mark certain occasions with gifts. Don't be lazy and give a gift card (only if requested) take the time and the thought to buy a gift. Don't just throw your gift in any old bag, take the time to wrap it nicely. This will say a lot about you as a person as well as the person to whom you are giving the gift to. Go the extra mile to make someone feel special. Be thoughtful!

12. Social Grace. We all need it. Social grace will take you where money will not. Developing your social grace will allow you to maneuver effectively, efficiently and gracefully through any situation.

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Yetunde A. Odugbesan

Bad Attitude-Bad Aura

2010-11-16T13:51:00.000-08:00

Everyone embodies a message that they translate to the world. Does your message inspire people to do good or does it discourage them to be their best? What type of message do you translate? What does your attitude say about you?

When you have a bad attitude you also have a bad aura. An aura is suppose to be a luminous radiation that surrounds the person. An aura brings forth a type of light and warmth. When you have a bad attitude you do not radiate a luminous light or warmth, you bring forth coldness and darkness. Having a bad attitude has severe consequences. One misses out on destined opportunities, building fruitful relationships, blessings, favor and more. Life is all about the power of attitude, do not let a negative attitude and outlook on life alter your future.

Rise above emotions, past hurts, failures and disappointments that are triggering your distasteful attitude. Working on your attitude is a continuous self-improvement process. One Act of kindness does not mean you changed, you need to work on fixing your attitude everyday. When you walk into a room are people happy to see you or are they happy to see you leave. Life is all about attitude. Your attitude affects your outlook on life which affects your behavior which will ultimately affect your decision-making which can either make or break you. Remember your attitude determines your altitude.

Charles Swindoll said it best: “The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.”

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Yetunde A. Odugbesan

Its Your Decision-To Be Great

2010-11-15T12:59:00.000-08:00

Encourage yourself to be better in all aspects. Do not settle for less because less is not good enough. Do not settle for being mediocre when you were born to be extraordinary. The potential to be great and to do greater things rests in your hands. Give yourself the opportunity to put your best self forward.

Each of us have talents, skills and gifts that have not been tapped into yet. Find out what those talents are and use them to make a difference. Be inspired by those who decided to live their lives abundantly. Find inspiration in your experiences and journey through life. Use past disappointments, failures and betrayals to motivate you achieve greater things. Do not let those emotions slow you down or hinder your growth."Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending."Every situation or circumstance is an opportunity to do better and be better.

It is your decision to make a difference. It is your decision to be exceptional. It is your decision to be a doer of all good things. It is your decision to lead by example. You decide where you want your life to go. There is power in decision-making. You Decide.

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Yetunde A. Odugbesan

Five Steps to Effective Decision-Making

2010-11-15T11:43:00.000-08:00

5 Steps to Making Effective Decision

1. Know Your End Goal. What is it you want to accomplish. Determine if your decision will bring you closer to your goal.

2. Weigh Your Options. Sit back and think about the advantages and disadvantages of making such a decision. If the good outweighs the bad then go for it, if not then take more time to think about it.

3. Be Strategic. Make decisions that are strategic. Does your decision put you directly in line with your goal. Analyze foreseeable outcomes and factor that into your decision making.

4. Listen to Yourself. Advice is great but following your own instincts is even greater. Be open to advice and use that information in helping you make decisions. Remember its not about always making the "right" the decision, its also about making decisions that you will be at peace with.

5. Accept the Outcome. You may have an idea of how things may pan out when making a certain decision but when it does not result into the outcome you were looking for, take responsibility for it. You can either accept the outcome or work towards changing it.

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Yetunde A. Odugbesan

Making the Right Decisions

2010-11-11T09:05:00.000-08:00

Knowing when to make the right decisions is a tough task. Which way do you go? Do you go right or left? Life is all about making decisions but how do you know when your making the right decision? One must factor all foreseeable obstacles, outcomes, advantages and disadvantages when making a decision. One must also understand that advice can only do so much. Ultimately your gut instincts, intuition and concrete factors will help you in effective decision-making.

Everyday we make decisions. Decisions on what to eat, what to wear, what to say, what to do, what to buy, what not to say, how not act, where to go, what to accomplish, who to date, who to marry, where to work, where to move...our lives are full of decisions. But do we know how important making decisions are? Especially when they dictate the movement of your life. Napoleon Bonaparte said it best, "Nothing is more difficult, and therefore more precious, than to be able to decide."

When I say making the "right" decision, I mean making decisions that are reflective of who you are. And making decisions that you are at peace with. We seldom make "right" decisions but we must learn how to make our own decisions that we can be at peace with it. How many times do you factor in everyone else opinions on what you should do instead of looking into yourself for the answer. Making the right decision does not necessarily mean that it will work out it the way you planned but at least you were able to make a decision that is reflective of who you are. At the end of day, are you at peace with the decisions you've made in your life? What is hindering you from making your own decisions? How effective is your decision-making?

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Yetunde A. Odugbesan

Color Me In

2010-11-08T13:11:00.000-08:00

Finding God in yourself is quite a journey. It is safe to say that every woman should experience God. Whether it be in doubt, in questioning, in unbelieving and in totality...every woman should have an encounter with God. You may ask who is God, what does he or she look or feel like, where is he? The answer to that is all around you.

You see your a canvas who is yet to be painted. You've been colored in some places and other areas are yet to be touched. Your life is a canvas and you are not the painter. A beautiful masterpiece cannot be left undone or unpainted. An artist will never show an unfinished product, so why don't you allow your canvas to be colored? Why don't you let the artist finish his masterpiece? You have the best painter in the world, so trust in him that he will showcase a breath-taking masterpiece. God takes time in finishing his pieces. He uses the best colors and most intricate designs to make sure he reveals you at your best. So what is stopping you from letting such a gifted artist finish painting your canvas?

Written by

Yetunde Odugbesan

Here is a moving excerpt from Sri Chinmoy written in March 1962:

First of all, you get joy in telling the world that there is no God. There can be no such thing as God. Even when you feel that there is a God, you tell your near and dear ones that God is for them and for others, but not for you. With all the ignorance at your command, you proclaim that God does not care for you. You feel that God is terribly angry with you, for years ago you told a fatal lie, or deceived someone in the street. Poor God, as if He has nothing else to do than to get angry with you and punish you mercilessly.

Believe it or not, I tell you that God has many, many significant things to do with your life. To you, your life is nothing, a perfect zero. To God, your life is everything-to be precise, His everything. You are His unparalleled Pride. You are His only Dream. You are His only Reality. With you He sings the Song of Immortality. In you He sees the embodiment of His Existence-Consciousness Bliss. For you, only for you, He exists through Eternity. He molds you. He shapes you. He guides you. He transforms you into His very Image, His Life of the ever transcending Beyond.

Each Woman

2010-11-08T12:26:00.000-08:00

Each woman is a reflection of who you are. Each woman is a representation of who you could have been or aspire to be. Every woman that you come in contact with is another piece in solving your puzzle. We are all one woman with different experiences and life stories. Many of them very similar and some of them quite different. We can not and should not ignore the plights and experiences of other women or raise our noses at certain things women do because: every woman is a representation of you.

As women we need to open ourselves to the experiences of other women. You need to imagine yourself in the shoes of the woman sitting next to you. We cannot fully say we are human unless we are able to feel the pain and happiness of another human being. We must understand that a woman's pain or happiness affects not only a child but an entire community. Our life stories are more than just stories, they are the keys to expose our darkness and help us find the tunnel of life within us. Every woman's story whether good or bad gives hope for another tomorrow.

Each woman is a representation of you. When you empower another woman, you empower yourself. When you inspire another woman, you inspire yourself. When you encourage another woman, you encourage yourself. When you wipe away the tears of another woman, you console yourself. When you hurt another woman, you hurt yourself. When you belittle another woman, you belittle yourself. When you hate another woman, you hate yourself. When you love another woman, you love yourself.

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Yetunde A. Odugbesan

What Is Having It All?

2010-11-02T11:31:00.000-07:00

What is having it all? How do we define it? And what do we equate it to? And can you have it all...all at once?

What is having it all?
Having it all means to have or acquire all the things that make you happy. Which could be your profession, education, relationships, children, material things and more. Having it all encompasses a myriad of "things."

How do we define, "having it all?"
People at times define having it all, by the things they are able to acquire or achieve by a certain time. Having it all has different definitions depending on ones own perspective.

What do we equate it to?
Equating what you have accomplished or acquired to your personal state of happiness may not also be the right thing to do. One's happiness should not be measured by what you have or don't have. Having it all does not mean having everything you could ever dream or imagine...it means being able to experience great moments.

Can you have it all at once?
Having it all does not mean you have to everything at once. We all wish we could but life does not work that way. Having it all is a culmination effect. It is a process. One day you realize the secret to having it all.

Written by Yetunde A. Odugbesan

How To Remain Fabulous Under Pressure

2010-10-19T11:04:00.000-07:00

Has the hustle and bustle of life left you worn out and stressed. Are your daily activities like work, school, and family life taking over your own personal life? Well, here are ten tips to help you feel cool and look good while under pressure.

Ten Ways to Stay Fabulous

1. Life goes on. So take time out for yourself.
2. Pamper yourself. Find time once every 2-3 weeks to get a manicure/pedicure.
3. Read a great book. Take time out to read an uplifting and inspiring book.
4. Rejuvenate yourself. Run, exercise, and go to a spa every 1-3 months or create spa remedies that you can do at home.
5. Look Good. Just because your busy and multi-tasking to the T does not mean you have to look it. Image presence is important to a certain extent so take 5-10 minutes more in the morning to put yourself together. Be polished.
6. Utilize your iPod. Download sermons, e-books, your favorite songs and listen to them on your down time. You need to find ways to relieve stress and listening to great music does help.
7. Eat a Great Dinner. Every 1-2 months you should take the time out to dine out at your favorite restaurant.
8. Sleep. No matter how busy you are, your body needs to rest.
9. Perfume and Make-up. The right perfume and make-up will always leave you feeling good and looking good.
10. Find Balance. Being Fabulous is not only about looking good its also about feeling good. When you feel good you look good. So get rid of things that will bring stress and learn how to avoid stress. Avoid people and things that will make your life harder!

Written by

Yetunde A. Odugbeasn

"The Danger of a Single Story"

2010-10-18T13:07:00.000-07:00

The continent of Africa has been misunderstood by those who have a critical misunderstanding. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, a Nigerian born award-winning author gave a riveting talk in 2009 at TEDSpeak. Her talk was entitled, "The Danger of a Single Story."Adiche warns that if we hear a single story about another person, country, culture or religion, we risk a critical misunderstanding.

Due to historical misleading, subjective media, cultural hegemony, the race for power and economic domination, and a dissertation worth of various reasons...we have made a grave mistake into accepting one story as a representative of what is true. We have not only deprived Africans but millions of people the right to tell their side of the story. We have been trained to think a certain way about people, cultures, and countries. The stories you see on the media or read in books about Africa being barren, war-torn, and deplorable has shaped the mindset of millions of people. The effect of a subjective and clouded mind is a tragedy because it does not offer room for another voice, the voice of the true story-teller.

Adichie states,"Power is the ability not just to tell the story of another person, but to make it the definitive story of that person. The Palestinian poet Mourid Barghouti writes that if you want to dispossess a people, the simplest way to do it is to tell their story, and to start with, "secondly." Start the story with the arrows of the Native Americans, and not with the arrival of the British, and you have an entirely different story. Start the story with the failure of the African state, and not with the colonial creation of the African state, and you have an entirely different story." We as Africans need to tell our stories. We need to tell that out of Africa comes some of the toughest issues to change and out of Africa also comes the worlds greatest natural resources, the most intelligent intellectuals like Soyinka and Achebe, the most magnificent writers, the most resilient activists like Ken-Saro Wiwa, the most revolutionary musicians like Fela. We need to tell our stories, the good, bad, beautiful and ugly. It is our experiences, our struggles, and our achievements that must and should be heard.

"All of these stories make me who I am. But to insist on only these negative stories is to flatten my experience, and to overlook the many other stories that formed me. The single story creates stereotypes. And the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete. They make one story become the only story."-Adichie

How will you complete the story about Africa? How will you challenge the stereotypes? What will you do to make sure your experiences are heard? And that our achievements are acknowledged?

To see Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's reviting speech click:
http://www.ted.com/talks/chimamanda_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story.html

Written by

Yetunde A. Odugbesan

Be An Excellent Version of Yourself

2010-10-12T21:04:00.000-07:00

Set out to achieve a goal that is unique to you. At times people often end up re-creating the wheel. Venture out to create something more innovative, creative and unique. Follow your own dream not that of someone else. Don't do it because the person next to you has done it, do it because it speaks to who you are. Do it because you have something different to offer to the world. And this can be applied to your profession, degree choice, business venture, and personal goals.

Life needs more people who are willing to lead the pack rather than follow it. It needs more people who are genuine in their approaches and truly seek to make society a better place. We all need your individuality and uniqueness. Remember no one can compete against individuality--everyone has one but hardly uses it. Your trademark, imprint and legacy is to be who you are. Be who you are and do it well. Be an excellent version of yourself.

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Yetunde A. Odugbesan

You Have The Right To Expect the Best

2010-10-10T12:54:00.000-07:00

You have the right to expect the best for yourself. Life is not about settling and accepting things the way they are. You should work to change things to the way they should be. Life is not about just accepting your reality the way it is. Rather, you should create your own reality. Speak life to your life. Why be ordinary, when you have the potential to be extraordinary.

Expect great things for your yourself. When you expect greater and better things, greater and better things will find you. Whatever you put out into the world is what you will surely get back in return. Expecting the best does not mean having the best material things. It means expecting a certain quality for your life for yourself. People who strive and work hard understand what it means to expect the best.

Work towards building a life of satisfaction, substance and value. While expecting the best for yourself always remember that one should expect the same for someone else. As we continue to empower ourselves to be the best we can be, we must do the same to others. We must empower others to expect the best and not to settle for less. Shakti Gawain said it best, “When we create something, we always create it first in a thought form. If we are basically positive in attitude, expecting and envisioning pleasure, satisfaction and happiness, we will attract and create people, situations, and events which conform to our positive expectations."

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Yetunde A. Odugbesan

A Call to Serve

2010-10-07T12:44:00.000-07:00

It is not only your duty but an obligation to be a citizen of change. We all must demonstrate the importance of public service in our daily lives. A Call to Serve is one of the most difficult yet rewarding experiences. A call to public service is not about the individual, it is about what the individual can contribute and what sacrifices the individual is willing to make in order to make his or her community a better place.

Why is service important? Colin Powell said it best, “Every day, as you do your jobs, people will be watching you. And it isn't so much how efficiently you do your job as it is how well you communicate those values. Do you represent openness? Do you represent a caring hand and a caring eye and a caring heart and a caring mind? Do you say to people, ‘We Americans are a generous people, an open people’? I represent a country that is a country of all countries touched by every country and, in turn, touching every country. Do you communicate by your actions, by your voice, by your way of going about your business, that openness that is so characteristic of the American way?” The importance and value on public service is not only an American characteristic...it is a universal one that should be reflected in all creeds and in all nations.

Public Service is the highest calling, the most difficult yet the most rewarding. The most difficult because it challenges you to serve a greater cause other than yourself and the most rewarding because it is by your individual power and compassion that you are able to, "leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition," like Ralph Waldo Emerson would say--that is success.

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Yetunde A. Odugbesan

What is Your Master Plan?

2010-09-09T09:00:00.000-07:00

What is your master plan? What is your objective? What is your goal? What is your purpose? What do you want your life to mean? What do you want your legacy to be? So, I ask you again, "What is your master plan?"

There are many discussions and debates about finding and knowing your purpose. These discussions come out of a larger issue, in which I analyze it in the following: without purpose there is no true direction, without true direction there is no real objective or goal and therefore there is no real concrete or effective master plan. If we take the time to think about what our lives could be if we all had a purpose...I am sure the world as we know it would be a different place.

The reason why finding your purpose is so important because whether we know it or not our lives are intertwined with others. Our successes, failures, achievements, goals, and so much more are dependent on others. If it was not for Martin Luther King Jr. knowing his purpose and carrying out his mission, race relations in America would be far different than how we know it today. We are able to experience the benefits of people living out their purpose. So my question to you is, "Will your purpose change the life of someone else? Will people be able to benefit out of your purpose? Have you committed to living a purpose driven life?

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Yetunde A. Odugbesan

The Best 2010 Resolution

2010-09-07T11:31:00.000-07:00

H. Jackson Brown, the author of the best selling book, "Life's Little Instruction Book," provides some of the best advice to get through life. These also serve as great resolutions.

1. Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.
2. Work at something you enjoy and that's worthy of your time and talent.
3. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
4. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
5. Be forgiving of yourself and others.
6. Be generous.
7. Have a grateful heart.
8. Persistence, persistence, persistence.
9. Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.
10. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
11. Commit yourself to constant improvement.
12. Commit yourself to quality.
13. Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power or prestige, but on relationship with people you love and respect.
14. Be loyal.
15. Be honest.
16. Be a self-starter.
17. Be decisive even it it means you'll sometimes be wrong.
18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.
19. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.
20. Take good care of those you love.
21. Don't do anything that wouldn't make your Mom proud.

(AWS) Angry Woman Syndrome-Overcoming Yourself

2010-08-23T10:28:00.000-07:00

After watching a documentary called, The Diary of a Tired Black Man, a great deal of interesting and thought-provoking questions arose. Reflecting on one of my previous blog posts entitled, "The Bitter Woman," bitterness, anger, and ill-mannered emotions all stem from some sort of deep pain, disappointment and/or insecurity in which this documentary highlights. The documentary introduces (ABWS) Angry Black Woman Syndrome...quite a name. I do not agree with the name, I would rather it be called (AWS) Angry Woman Syndrome because this issue is not only a black issue.

What is a syndrome? A syndrome is the presence of concurrent abnormalities that occur together or more frequently exhibited. The Angry Woman Syndrome--(is it proven medically? No) but the signs of such problem are there and visible in some women. All this title does is lump the many issues that some women go through and exhibit into one word. Labeling such issues as a syndrome disregards the root of the those problems and automatically assumes "angry women" are also suffering from some sort of psychological problem as well which is not true. I do believe that all women and men can learn how better deal with their emotions. So, in essence how do you get over this? How do you overcome yourself?

Here are some solutions to uncovering your anger, overcoming yourself and finding happiness which are applicable to both men and women:

Ask yourself: "Do you find yourself to be easily agitated?" "It is easier for you to be mean than nice to people?" "What is the root of your anger?"
There is no reason why your emotions are controlling your progression. Your feelings should not dictate nor mold you into someone you do not want to become. Do not let your emotions get the best of you. Learn how to take power away from ill-mannered emotions and give power to the areas of your personality, behavior, or traits that will help you to become a better person.
Claim that it is your God-given right to experience happiness, let go of all the emotions, past hurt, and disappointments that have been holding your happiness hostage.
Acknowledge your mistake and learn from them. It is never to late to make a change.
Learn how to Let God and Let God.

To watch a clip of the Diary of a Tired Black Man please click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HVcFyF-mco Enjoy!

Written by

Yetunde A. Odugbesan

10 Ways to Become A Better You!

2010-08-20T09:03:00.000-07:00

Here are ten steps that will take you closer to becoming a better you:

1. Evaluate Your Behavior. Everyone needs a reality check, including you. Sometimes we need to stop and evaluate are attitudes and behaviors. We must ask ourselves questions like, "Does my attitude project negative or positive energy? Do people consider me to be a positive person? Do I easily get angry and lash out at others? Am I pleasant to be around?" These are questions that we must take the time to genuinely answer. Self-evaluation is the key to self-improvement.

2. Correct and Acknowledge Mistakes. Are you the type of person who swears they are never wrong and everyone else around them is? Do you find it difficult to accept and acknowledge your mistakes? Well if this describes you, you not only have an issue with being right all the time, you also have a pride issue. Prideful people are not pleasant to be around. They never acknowledge their mistakes and feel as though no one can tell them anything. Sadly, this type of behavior not only affects your relationship but it also affects your growth process. Learn how to acknowledge and correct your mistakes.

3. Be Humble. Brahma Kumaris explains it better than I can: "Greatness lies in being humble. A seed grows only when it is mingled with the mud. In the same way, the one who is great is naturally humble. He understands the truth that only when there is humility will there be success. Humility gives the power to bow down without reducing one's own self-respect. When we are humble we are able to be experience our inner greatness, which naturally keeps us set on the seat of our self-respect. So when the situation demands, we have no problem bowing down. We are able to allow the situations to work on us and we are able to strengthen ourselves from within under all circumstances..."Well said Kumaris.

4. Stop Complaining. Its simple than it sounds..stop complaining. Even I am guilty of this at times. When you complain you fail to show how grateful you are. You fail to appreciate even the small things that you take for granted. The amount of time you spend on complaining, takes away from the time you should be thanking God for all he has done in your life. Chronic complaining is good for no one, not even yourself.

5. Be Approachable. Stop being so stand off and unapproachable. Fix your face and your attitude while your at it. What you fail to understand is that the more you knowingly or unknowingly try to block people away...the more blessings, opportunities and favors you miss out on. Even a billionaire understands the power of people relations. You cannot be a success all on your own, there will be people to guide you and help reach your goals. And you cannot reach the goals you set before yourself if you continue to build "The Great Wall" around you.

6. Get Over It! Geez, I cannot stress this point enough! To simply put it...GET OVER IT. Whatever "it" may be, Let Go and Let God. So many people are held in emotional, spiritual, and physical bondage over something or someone that they refuse to let go. I understand that there may be some experiences that one can never forget, but by God's grace you can overcome it. There are woman carrying baggages filled with negative experiences that they will not let go. Holding on to grudges causes bitterness, frustration, envy, jealousy and more. You are more than your hurt...challenge yourself to rise above "it" and hand your baggage over to God.

7. Respect Yourself and Others. Respecting yourself and knowing your self-worth must be the Golden Rule. In order to respect others you must first respect yourself. We live in a society were people must earn respect, which is understandable. But, I believe the process of respect is not about earning it but first and foremost giving it. Respecting others is a sign that you value their self-worth.

8. Embrace Change. Life is all about change. You must learn how to not only embrace change but accept it. Stop always playing it safe and living a stagnant life. Learn how to chase after your dreams. Don't be afraid of change, change at times it not always easy...but it is inevitable. So do the best that you can while transitioning through life. If you going to make a change...make one that everyone can believe in!

9. Love yourself. There is only one you. No one can be a better you and you cannot be a better someone else. Love who are you are, flaws and all. Embrace your uniqueness. You cannot love someone else if you hate certain parts of yourself. You must first love yourself and become a better you before you can love anyone or anything. Be you, bold and clear.

10. Let go and Let God. Cast all your problems and woes unto someone who can guide you. Let go of all the emotions and actions that is stunting your progression in life. Learn how to Let Go and Let God.

Written by

Yetunde A. Odugbesan

The Bitter Woman

2010-08-12T11:24:00.000-07:00

"The Bitter Woman." Is she you? What is a bitter woman? A bitter person is his or her own worst enemy. Bitterness forms out of anger, resentment or disappointment. Due to various issues, experiences and circumstances...it is hard for a bitter woman to truly experience happiness. Or in other words, to truly be happy for another person.

Bitterness is a devastating mental state that hinders positive development. It reinforces the negatives people hold onto within themselves and projects ill-mannered emotions. Harboring resentment, anger, envy, self-pity, vindictiveness, and pride due to sour relationships, professional or personal disappointments will lead to bitterness. One must learn how to let go and let God.

I always wanted to write about this topic, because its important to find the root cause of a woman's "unpleasantness." At first when you meet another women who rubs you the wrong way, your first reaction is usually not an understanding one. But, I began to think about why some women act the way they do. And I realized that it is deeper than what you see on the outside. Its deeper than the facade that may be placed in front of you. Understanding where people come from, the type of baggage they have, they type of disappointments they had to deal with...helps you to understand why people are the way they are.

Look, a bitter women can be any woman. It can be your mother, sister, sister-in-law, friend, best-friend, co-worker, employer, professor, mother-in-law, doctor, lawyer, teacher, officer, wife, pastor and more. Bitterness has no age, race or nationality. And it is a devastating to all that is involved. William Arthur Ward states, "Every person has the power to make others happy. Some do it simply by entering a room others by leaving the room. Some individuals leave trails of gloom; others, trails of joy. Some leave trails of hate and bitterness; others, trails of love and harmony. Some leave trails of cynicism and pessimism; others trails of faith and optimism. Some leave trails of criticism and resignation; others trails of gratitude and hope. To my fellow women, what kind of trails do you leave?”

Written by

Yetunde A. Odugbesan

Under-Construction

2010-08-10T12:05:00.000-07:00

We are all under-construction. God is not done with us just yet. He is still building the foundations in our lives. We are still being gutted, molded, painted, and retouched to the likeness of God. If anyone has anything to say about you, your plans or what your doing with your life in general...you let them know that God is not quite through with you yet.

Life is a process and we must be patient. We must let life take its course. We all want to be the sailor of our own ship and ruler of our own destiny...but honestly we do not know enough to be the sailor or the ruler. We can only imagine or dream of what our lives should be but there are areas in your life that cannot be controlled all the time...and those are the grey areas. We all know the white and black areas of our lives, those areas that can easily be molded and changed to our desires. But, there are areas in our lives that need to be guided and constructed under another leadership. Albeit a divine leadership.

Our lives are storybooks waiting to be told and heard. Each chapter is just a building block written by life experiences but edited by God.

Written by

Yetunde A. Odugbesan

The Self-Centered Educationist

2010-07-27T12:51:00.000-07:00

Education...we all need it. We all want it. But why and for what? And once we get it, what do we do with it? I believe this a question that we all must ask ourselves during our academic endeavors. How do we make the most out of our education? And should these questions be an option or an obligation? I thought an education was meant to enlighten an individual to provide them with the skills and knowledge to produce. To aid in the progression of humanity and human development. But when you remove the idea of education being an altruistic act, "to aid in the progression of human development," then education becomes a tool to "aid in the progression of self." Meaning that education has now been added to the list of "material goods" that make you look and feel good. But, education should be more than that.

Education is not a suit that you put on to make you look the part. Your degree is not merely attained to accentuate who you are. But it a responsibility. To whom much is given much is required. What happened to using your education to genuinely better society. It is because of the hard work and altruistic nature of many of our past leaders (educated or not) that we are able to realize our goals. So, what are you going to change? What difference are you going to make? What is the bigger picture for you? Why did you decide to pick your profession? Why did you decide to spend X number of years in pursuit of a specific degree? We must ask ourselves these questions.

We need more people who are willing to use their education for the betterment of humanity. Society needs more people who will do it not because of the paycheck or the title but because of a larger reason... do it because it will help and open the doors for countless of people. Do it because you want to change society and actually be a part of the progression of our generation. Do it because your very existence and achievement encourages another young boy or girl. Do it because there are not enough people who look like you in your field. Do it because no one in your family has done it before. Do it because at the end of the day, God has a purpose for you larger than yourself.

Written by

Yetunde A. Odugbesan

Are You a Woman of Substance?

2010-07-20T07:37:00.000-07:00

What is a woman of substance? A woman of substance is someone whose life has meaning and purpose. She lives life with intention, love and passion. Material wants do not define her, they only accentuate what is already there. She does not need material wealth to feel content. Her material wealth is only an outward sign of an inward work done solely by God. She epitomizes the meaning of "walking prosperity" because she is indeed blessed.

Are you a woman of substance? What defines you? Is it your success, achievements, passion, wealth, marriage, children? What makes you a woman? All these questions and more are important to think about. As women especially young women we need to cultivate positive attitudes and habits that will help us to grow into well-rounded individuals. We have so much to offer to the world; our talents and gifts should not be jeopardized by our failure to realize our potential.

Women should run from being inundated with physical beauty and material wants...outward beauty is a sign of an inward work. What profits a woman if she is wealthy and covered with diamonds but yet she is empty? You cannot contribute the bags and shoes you wear to the world...the world needs substance! A smart woman is a treasured woman. The world does not need another pretty woman...we need pretty intelligent woman! Women who will take a seat at the table of change. Who will contribute their voice and energy to making this world a better place. We need more women who will not be afraid to stand up and say, "As a woman it my responsibility to pave the way for other women."

My question to you is what do you have to offer to the world? What mark are you going to leave? What do you want your legacy to be?

Written by

Yetunde A. Odugbesan

Now Is The Time

2010-07-14T10:02:00.000-07:00

Its time to move forward. Now is the time to get yourself and your goals in order. Time is given to man not only as a gift but as a privilege. And it is up to you to use time wisely. Time does not come knocking on your door to remind you of the things you have to accomplish. Like the old saying goes, "Time waits for no man." So it is up to you to make the most out of life while you are still living. Take a leap of faith and step out into your destiny. E. Brown Jackson Jr. said, "Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein."-- Now is the time to do something.

Today I have resolved that I will commit myself to achieving my goal no matter the obstacle. That I will embrace any change as a step moving me forward in the direction of my destiny. Because when you believe and have faith that the whole world will move to accommodate you--then that is what will happen. Opportunities and blessing will begin to find you. You will find yourself in positions that you only imagined--why? because you believed. Your faith works with time. Faith has a miraculous way of working things out regardless of time. But, it is also up to you to continue working in the "Now Moment."

Now is the time to move forward with your goals and ambitions. Now is the time to let go of things that will not align with the blessings God has for you. Now is the time to embrace change even if the change you are facing is overwhelming, disappointing or frustrating. Tap into your power and inspiration and act now! Become the gifted, talented, successful, goal-oriented person you always wanted to become. Now is the Time to make that difference.

Written by
Yetunde A. Odugbesan

"Some folk can't handle seeing you blessed..."-Maya Angelou

2010-06-28T11:33:00.000-07:00

I thought this was an interesting read written by Maya Angelou. It helps one to understand that not everyone is attracted to your blessing. And one must understand the complexities of life and people to move forward effectively. In life you will come across a myriad of personalities...but always remember everything is a "teaching moment." There is a lesson in both good and bad. It is the person who lacks wisdom that does not understand...that everything in life is a lesson. A learning experience. And if you do not learn mistakes/scenarios/events/etc will repeat itself until you eventually get it. I hope you enjoy this interesting read. Ciao.

Hater
By Maya Angelou

A hater is someone who is jealous and envious and spends all their time trying to make you look small so they can look tall.

They are very negative people to say the least. Nothing is ever good enough!

When you make your mark, you will always attract some haters...

That's why you have to be careful with whom you share your blessings and your dreams, because some folk can't handle seeing you blessed...

It's dangerous to be like somebody else... If God wanted you to be
like somebody else, He would have given you what He gave them! Right?

You never know what people have gone through to get what they have...

The problem I have with haters is that they see my glory, but they don't know my story...

If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, you
can rest assured that the water bill is higher there too!

We've all got some haters among us!

Some people envy you because you can:
a) Have a relationship with God
b) Light up a room when you walk in
c) Start your own business
d) Tell a man / woman to hit the curb (if he / she isn't about the right thing)
e) Raise your children without both parents being in the home

Haters can't stand to see you happy.
Haters will never want to see you succeed.

Most of our haters are people who are supposed to be on our side.

How do you handle your undercover haters?

You can handle these haters by:
1. Knowing who you are & who your true friends are
*(VERY IMPORTANT!!)
2. Having a purpose to your life: Purpose does not mean having a job. You can have a job and still be unfulfilled.
A purpose is having a clear sense of what God has called you to be.
Your purpose is not defined by what others think about you.
3. By remembering what you have is by divine prerogative and not human manipulation.
Fulfill your dreams! You only have one life to live...when its your
time to leave this earth, you 'want' to be able to say, 'I've lived my life and fulfilled 'my' dreams,... Now I'm ready to go HOME!

When God gives you favor, you can tell your haters, 'Don't look at
me...Look at Who is in charge of me...'

Don't worry about it, it's not your problem, it's theirs..
Just pray for them, that their life can be as fulfilled as
yours! Watch out for Haters...BUT most of all don't become
a HATER!

Poem written by Maya Angelou

"I Own Everything About Me"

2010-06-22T07:11:00.000-07:00

I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it -- I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know -- but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me. However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.

-- Virginia Satir

I love this quote because not many people can claim this.

Leave It To God, Just Be Glad, On the Heights

2010-06-07T08:54:00.000-07:00

I wanted to share this excerpt from Christian D. Larson's book, "Leave It To God, Just Be Glad, On the Heights."
I love all of Christian D. Larson's books they are filled
with wise and encouraging words. Enjoy.

from LEAVE IT TO GOD
Author: Christian D. Larson

WHEN we place our lives and our affairs under the direction of Infinite Wisdom, everything will be taken care of perfectly. This we all can understand; and we know, as an inner conviction, that nothing could be more evident. Indeed, it could not be otherwise. It is something we know with a positive assurance. It is something we may depend upon absolutely. Our spiritual discernment declares it; and experience proves it unmistakably. It is the outstanding promise of the high teachings of the ages; and, we go far to do this marvelous thing, when we think and say, with the whole of heart and soul, that "we leave it to God."

There can be neither misstep nor error at such a time; and no ill can come nigh our dwelling. Infinite Wisdom can guide and protect to the utmost. The best will come to pass; and all things will work out in the most harmonious and most successful manner. Our problems will be solved, and we will accomplish what we have in view. We will find what we seek, and our desires will be realized. Our needs will be provided for, promptly and adequately; and whatever our activities and aspirations may be, the outcome will be all that we could possibly wish for. It must be so; for God is not limited in any way. God does not postpone His goodness.

When we place our lives and our affairs under the direction of Infinite Wisdom, everything will change for the better; troubles and ills will decrease, and then vanish completely; obstacles will be removed, and the way cleared for the achievements and the demonstrations that we have in mind. Adversity will be transformed, and that which was against us will be for us. The crooked will be made straight; and all our activities will be brought into adjustment with divine law. All of this, and vastly more of like nature, we may expect when we leave it to God; when we place our lives and our affairs under the care and the guidance of the Spirit.

We all have sought ways and methods through which we might find freedom and peace, health and abundance, harmony and strength, light and understanding; ways and methods through which we might meet life in the best way, and realize the greatest measure of the good that life has to give. And, among the many ways and methods that have been found, there is one that excels them all: Leave it to God. All other methods have their service to perform, at the various steps and stages of our development; and they lead up to this greater method. We praise them all therefore; but as soon as we possibly can, we should turn to this one method that is always supreme; we should learn the secret of this remarkable statement: "Leave it to God."

When we leave it to God, we are directed by a power that is absolutely good, and that always works for the good. We are opening our lives to the One who knows all things, and can do all things. Anything that is good and great and wonderful may be expected, therefore, at such a time. Surely, all our affairs will be taken care of, in the most perfect and most successful manner, when Higher Power comes into life, into thought, into consciousness. There will, indeed, be a great transformation when the Supreme takes charge; when Divine Wisdom becomes our guide and inspiration; when the Great Light shines through. The clouds will pass; illness and weakness will disappear; we shall lack no good thing; and life will become richer and fairer than we ever visioned before.

To leave it to God is a marvelous thing, when we do so in the right spirit, and with understanding; when we know what this remarkable statement actually means; and when we can see clearly what takes place as we turn our lives and our affairs over into the keeping of the Supreme. We do not leave it all with God in the usual sense of that term. We do not cast our burdens upon the Lord with the thought that now there is nothing for us to do. We do not step aside with the hope that "God will attend to this." No, we do not step aside; nor do we entertain the belief, for a moment, that there is nothing more for us to do. There will be more for us to do than ever before; and, instead of stepping aside, we will go deeper and deeper into the work, the power and the glory of it all. No, it is not a matter of enlisting a higher power to do everything for us. That is not the idea. The true idea here is infinitely greater than that.

"Make It Thy Business to Know Thyself"

2010-05-24T07:56:00.000-07:00

Knowing Yourself. In the Midst of it All.
Where do I begin...well, life is a journey. Life is the process of getting to know yourself and others. Everything around you is helping you to find out who you are in the midst of it all. Many people go through life without experiencing their true self...without experiencing their ultimate identity. I believe we all have a ultimate identity. This ultimate identity is a time in your life when you can honestly say and feel that you have come full circle. That you have experienced what it means to be "you" and have lived up (or is living up to) your full potential. Its important to differentiate between you and everything else that adds to who you are. Who are you after everything is removed? Who are you after the successes, failures, titles and so forth?

As a black woman with many other adjectives to describe who I am...it is essential to have a real grasp of self. We are bombarded with so many things that try to define or label us. As a woman it is your duty to create the kind of self that you are content and happy with. We have limitless power to change our surroundings...let us use our God-given talents to restore, rejuvenate, and empower ourselves internally. Am I my sisters keeper? Yes. And I can only do so if I work on keeping and restoring myself.

Lao Tzu says it best, "Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength, mastering yourself is true power." And John McDonald states, "You have to start knowing yourself so well that you begin to know other people. A piece of us is in every person we can ever meet."

"Make it thy business to know thyself, which is the most difficult lesson in the world."

Written by Yetunde A. Odugbesan

Moving Forward

2010-03-26T07:16:00.000-07:00

This is the time where we all need to continue to press forward. There is no other time like now in which our present and future calls us to become manifestations of our dreams. We all have goals and visions in life. And we must fulfill them. Your destiny will partly help but perserverance solidfies it. Many of us have dreams and goals that are like visions in which we seize to nurture. The time is now for you to carry out the goals you set before yourself. Whether it be a new business, finishing school and etc.--the reason why is because, there are some of you who are chosen to make a significant difference. And you must take advantage of time.

We are discouraged and perplexed from many angles...still yet you must move forward. You cannot let your problems (or what you view as problems) deter you from your goals. This may sound cliche...but it is the truth. I come across alot of people who have something powerful about them, but sadly they don't know it or realize it yet. Time waits for no man and time will pick someone else if you are not ready to step up to the plate. The reason why we do not have transformational leaders such as like Martin Luther King Jr. or Mahandis Ghandi is because many of us are not willing to make huge sacrifices for the betterment of thier neighbor. We believe by getting an education we then educate the youth...yes..but our youths need visible leaders who will inspire them to become higher than just teachers or professors. We don't need to read about social movements or nonviolent protests...we need inspiration to have one.

We need to be inspired to write books, not to read them. To make speeches, not to listen to them. To become leaders, not to read about them. As an individual we need to move forward in our own personal lives. We need to become more active in this process of life.

Written By

Yetunde A. Odugbesan

Girlfriend, Are Your Truly Happy For Me?

2010-02-23T09:20:00.000-08:00

My sister...my friend...my confidant...are you truly happy for me? Is a question I believe that every woman has asked at some point in her life. Frienship is such a sacred relationship, it is a special and rare bond. So rare that frienships are hard to come by. But as women, we struggle to find the "right" friend as we struggle to find the "right" partner. Why is that?

I believe that there are women who look to other women for inspiration, motivation and empowerment. And there are women who use the faults of other women to validate themselves. We are caught in the cross-fire of both of these characteristics. Characteristics that are hard to identify at first. It is extremely important to surround yourself with women who find joy in you and your success. And who view your mistakes and failures as their own.

Having a keen sense of who people are has proved to be both a service and diservice for me. I have a burning intuition that shouts, "keep far away from a person or keep them as a friend and hold on to them for dear life." It is a voice if you listen closely that tells you, "Girl, don't even waste your time." So it has been a much different road for me...not everyone can be a part of my life...thats just the way things have to be. But, that does not mean you do not help or assist others. There is such a thing as loving someone from a distance. And the quote goes like this--"When people show you who they are believe them."

I think this a topic that many women talk about but not publicly. They feel in it their hearts and think about it in their minds. And they always end up asking the same question, "My sister...my sister-in-law.....my friend....my confidant....my co-worker.....my colleague....are you truly happy for me?"

"Every woman's joy should be your celebration."-Yetunde

Written by Yetunde A. Odugbesan

Self-Concious: A Must Read.

2010-01-25T10:16:00.000-08:00

Excerpt from the book , "Creativity: Unleashing the Forces Within" by the reknowned Osho:

Self-Consciousness
When you are self-conscious you are in trouble. When you are self-conscious you are really showing symptoms that you don't know who you are. Your very self-consciousness indicates that you have not come home yet.

Whenever you are self-conscious you are simply showing that you are not conscious of the self at all. You don't know who you are. If you had known, then there would have been no problem---then you are not seeking opinions. Then you are not worried what others say about you--- it is irrelevant! In fact, nobody ever says anything about you--- whenever people say something about you, they are saying it about themselves.

Nobody can say anything about you. Whatsoever people say is about themselves. But you become very shaky, because you are still clinging to a false center. That false center depends on others, so you are always looking to what people are saying about you. And you are always following other people, you are always trying to satisfy them. You are always trying to be respectable, you are always trying to decorate your ego. This is suicidal. Rather than being disturbed by what others say, you should start looking inside yourself. To know the real self is not so cheap. But people are always hankering for cheap things. It happened:

When the pain in Mulla Nasruddin's back became un-

bearable, he reluctantly went to a specialist to diagnose his problem.

"Well," said the doctor, "your problem can be cured

by an operation, two weeks in the hospital and six months totally horizontal."

"Doctor, I can't afford the cost of all that!" shouted Nasruddin.

"Well then, for twenty-five dollars I can retouch the X ray," suggested the doctor.

This is cheap! ---retouch the X ray--- but it is not going to make you healthy. That's what we are doing, continuously retouching the X ray and thinking that somehow the miracle will happen. When you are decorating your ego you are retouching the X ray. That is not going to help in any way, it is not going to help you become healthy. It is cheaper ---no operation is needed, no expense is involved. But what is the point? Your misery remains.

You become respectable and your misery remains. You be-come highly praised by the society--- your misery remains. You are decorated with gold medals but your misery remains. These gold
medals are not going to destroy your misery; they are like retouch-ing the X ray. All decoration on the ego, for the ego, is nothing but deceiving yourself. And you go on becoming weaker and weaker and weaker because the ego goes on becoming weaker every day. Your body will become weaker, your mind will become weaker, and by and by the ego that you have created out of the body and mind combination will become weaker. Fear will become greater and greater; you will be sitting on a volcano that can any
day explode. It will not allow you rest. It will not allow you relax-ation, it will not allow you any moments of peace.

Once you understand it then the whole energy is put into another direction. One has to know oneself. One has not to be worried about what others say about you.

From Creativity: Unleashing the Forces Within

Life's Jericho Road

2010-01-18T08:18:00.000-08:00

It is no surprise that Dr. Martin Luther King Jr was one of the most influtential figures in my life and in the world. He had purpose that was clear. He had a destined mission that was unwavering. He was and still is a leader that transends this world. He stated, "Well, I don't know what will happen now. We've got some difficult days ahead. But it doesn't matter with me now. Because I've been to the mountaintop. And I don't mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land. And I'm happy, tonight. I'm not worried about anything. I'm not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord." A powerful revelation of what was to come.

Life's Jericho Road

In the final analysis, I must not ignore the

wounded man on life's Jericho road, because

he is part of me and I am part of him.

His agony diminishes me and his salvation

enlarges me.

Martin Luther King Jr.

In the final analysis, the rich must not ignore

the poor because both rich and poor are tied in

a single garment of history. All life is

interrelated, and all men are interdependent.

The agony of the poor diminisishes the rich,

and the salvation of the poor enlarges the rich.

We are inevitably our brother's keeper because of

the interrelated structure of reality.

Martin Luther King Jr. 12-10-1964

The good neighbor looks beyound the external accidents

and discerns those inner qualities that make all men

human, and therefore, brothers.

Martin Luther King Jr. 1963

Extremists

2010-01-18T08:16:00.000-08:00

The question is not whether we will be extremist but what kind of extremist will we be? And Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. answered:

Was not Jesus an extremist for love -- "Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, pray for them that despitefully use you." Was not Amos an extremist for justice -- "Let justice roll down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream." Was not Paul an extremist for the gospel of Jesus Christ -- "I bear in my
body the marks of the Lord Jesus." Was not Martin Luther an extremist -- "Here I stand; I can do none other so help me God." Was not John Bunyan an extremist -- "I will stay in jail to the end of my days before I make a butchery of my conscience." Was not Abraham Lincoln an extremist -- "This nation cannot survive half slave and half free." Was not Thomas Jefferson an extremist --"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal." So the question is not whether we will be extremist but what kind of extremist will we be.

Will we be extremists for hate or will we be extremists for love? Will we be extremists for the preservation of
injustice--or will we be extremists for the cause of justice? In that dramatic scene on Calvary's hill, three men
were crucified. We must not forget that all three were crucified for the same crime--the crime of extremism.
Two were extremists for immorality, and thusly fell below their environment. The other, Jesus Christ,
was an extremist for love, truth and goodness, and thereby rose above his environment.

There was a time when the church was very powerful. It was during that period when the early Christians
rejoiced when they were deemed worthy to suffer for what they believed. In those days the church was not
merely a thermometer that recorded the ideas and principles of popular opinion; it was a thermostat that
transformed the mores of society. Whenever the early Christians entered a town the power structure got
disturbed and immediately sought to convict them for being "disturbers of the peace" and "outside agitators."

But they went on with the conviction that they were "a colony of heaven," and had to obey God rather
than man. They were small in number but big in commitment. They were too God-intoxicated to be
"astronomically intimidated." They brought an end to such ancient evils as infanticide and gladiatorial
contest.-Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Daily Affirmation

2010-01-12T08:48:00.000-08:00

Today's affirmation is quoted from theologist, Christian D. Larson called, "Promise Yourself."

Promise Yourself

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature you meet.
To give so much time to improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud word, but in great deeds.
To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side, so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

TIME...Use it Wisely

2010-01-07T06:39:00.000-08:00

Time waits for no man. You would be fooling yourself to think time is on your side. You would be wasting your time if you plan for tomorrow and not for today. You see we often live in the future and make decisions based on how we want our lives to become. We rarely make decisions on how we want our lives to be at this moment. We go to school so that eventually we will become financially stable and successful. We wait to get married, we wait to start business, we wait, we wait and wait. Zig Ziglar said it best, "Remember, when time is spent is gone forever." It is reasonable and even logical to wait for many things. After all, there is a time and season for everything. But by waiting have we missed something? Have we made the most use out of time?

Time is essential to the growth of man. But, does man know how to use time effectively? What do we do with the time allocated (which is unknown) to us? How do we spend it wisely? We should view the lives of Martin Luther King Jr, Winston Churchill, Nelson Mandela, John F. Kennedy, Mother Teresa as a guide book on how to live most effectively. In my opinion you live best when you live for others. We are all human...we all have the potential to live up to these standards. Many of you reading this can be next Nelson Mandela or Mother Teresa of your generation. You see for some of these people...they found their calling. They knew their purpose and they followed it. You cannot escape your calling, mission, purpose or destiny. Your life is intertwined with people you do not even know. The success and freedom of others is predicated on your existence and following through with your purpose. So, the time you spend on earth is not solely just for you...the plan is bigger than that. Realize It.

The world is in dire need of people who are willing to act now. Who understand their gift and are willing to selflessly use it for the good of humanity. I continue to strive to make a difference daily and become a vessel of action but I myself cannot do it alone. We need a generation of leaders who are going to step up and step out to tackle some of the issues plaguing our communities. We need young women who are going to speak up and separate themselves from the masses to make a difference in the lives of little girls. We need young men who are not afraid to carry some issues on their back to address the problems in our inner-city communities.

What we need are people who are willing to use the time they have now to make a difference. Like Nelson Mandela said, "We must use time wisely and forever realize that the time is always ripe to do right." I hope that you do not realize the importance of time only when there is little left. Remember, "Ordinary people think merely of spending time. Great people think of using it."

Written by Yetunde A. Odugbesan

A New Year, A New You?

2009-12-30T11:48:00.000-08:00

The new year is less than a day away. I hope that in this short period of time you were able to reflect on how much your life has changed in a year. The year 2009, has been a great year for me including so many others. As the new year quickly approaches this prompts many people to make new year's resolutions. A new year's resolution is a commitment one makes to reform a habit, often a lifestyle...an attempt to become a better a person. Sometimes these resolutions are successful in being carried out but rarely achieved.

A New Years resolution is a goal within itself. Sometimes we cannot put a time limit on a goal. It takes and sometimes needs more than a year to achieve some resolutions we set before ourselves. For some, every year is a new resolution. We make new resolutions every year without really accomplishing the resolution/goal we set the year before. A great New Years resolution is to see how we can continue to work on areas in our life that need refining. My New Years resolution which has always been a daily pursuit/goal is to use my life for the betterment of humanity. I want my life to make a difference, a positive change and lasting impression on the life of a child, teenager, adult, society, policies and more...(and I believe that I live this testament everyday by the many things that have come into fruition in my life). To me the meaning of success in best summed up and explained by Ralph Waldo Emerson:

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, said it best for me, "To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." The world may base my success on the material things that I possess or the accomplishments and accolades they see I have achieved but the most important measures are the intangibles. This New Years resolution is to continue living out the goals that I have set before for myself. To also continue improving my actions and mindset that will continue to mold me into the person that I envision to become.

So tomorrow at 12:00AM will be a new year, it is your decision if you will allow it whole heartily to help you become a new you. By focusing on past goals/resolutions that have not been achieved will force you to continue improving yourself. Happy New Year in advance and I wish only the best for you in year 2010!

Written by Yetunde A. Odugbesan

Motivational Quotes for WOMEN

2009-10-08T07:10:00.000-07:00

I believe every women needs a dose of motivation and inspiration whether daily or occasionally. So I have put together quotes that will hopefully help you to put your best self forward.

"If I could give you information of my life it would be to show how a woman of very ordinary ability has been led by God in strange and unaccustomed paths to do in His service what He has done in her. And if I could tell you all, you would see how God has done all, and I nothing. I have worked hard, very hard, that is all; and I have never refused God anything."--Florence Nightingale

People of high self-esteem are not driven to make themselves superior to others: they do not seek to prove their value by measuring themselves against a comparative standard. Their joy is being who they are, not in being better than someone else. -- Nathaniel Branden

"Lord, I give up all my own purposes and plans, all my own desires and hopes and ambitions, and accept Thy will for my life. I give myself, my life, my all utterly to Thee, to be Thine forever. I hand over to Thy keeping all my friendships; all the people whom I love are to take a second place in my heart. Fill me and seal me with Thy Holy Spirit. Work out Thy whole will in my life, at any cost, now and forever." --Betty Stam

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, gifted ability, or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace from that day. We cannot change our past, we cannot change the fact that people will act in certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing that we can do is play on the one string that we have and this string is, Attitude. I am convinced that life is ten percent what happens to me and ninety percent how I react to it. And so it is with you....We are in charge of our Attitudes. -- Charles Swindoll

I asked God for strength that I might achieve. I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey. I asked for health that I might do greater things. I was given infirmity that I might do better things. I asked for riches that I might be happy. I was given poverty that I might be wise. I asked for power that I might have the praise of men. I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God. I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. I was given life that I might enjoy all things. I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I hoped for. Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered. I am, among all men, most richly blessed.”--this is in blue for a reason. Read carefully.

What a different story people would have to tell if they would adopt a definite purpose and stand by that purpose until it had time to become an all-consuming purpose.-- Napoleon Hill, Laws of Success

Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough. -- Oprah Winfrey

If someone listens, or stretches out a hand, or whispers a word of encouragement, or attempts to understand a lonely person, extraordinary things begin to happen. -- Loretta Girzartis

If you're able to be yourself, then you have no competition. All you have to do is get closer and closer to that essence. -- Barbara Cook

Make-up needn't be seen as a corrective or something to hide behind. I see it as another form of expression and acceptance, even pleasure, of being in one's skin. -- Kay Montano (make-up artist), Sunday Times, "Style"

Do You! But, On One Condition!

2009-06-10T19:48:00.000-07:00

Do you, but do it fabulously! Chase your own dreams, follow your own path, accomplish your own goal...but on one condition. The condition is that you do everything with excellence that exudes internal beauty. Being fabulous does not mean looking fabulous, but feeling fabulous. This blog is concerned with inside-out versus outside-in. Just because you look fabulous does not mean it changes who you are inside. All the Louis Vuitton and Fendi will not disguise the type of fruits you bear on the inside. Its like putting a bandage over a scar, the bandage can fall off but the scar still remains.

To do things fabulously is to do it with grace and understanding. Sometimes we equate being fabulous with external and materialistic qualities. But, I equate it with qualities and talents. Anybody can look fabulous even the worst of them can look better than you. But not everyone can do it with grace or with understanding. Not everyone can do it with integrity or honesty. Being fabulous is not for everyone because it takes a lot to really be fabulous.

I'm still learning on how to be fabulous, on how to do it with grace and understanding. Its not a crime to share the seed even though the seed hasn't grown yet. But in order to see fabulous in its work you need to surround yourself with fabulous people. My talented young ladies, you need to seek out young women who you admire. Don't let age discourage you into not admiring someone the same age as you. You need to find friends even if its one out of twenty that you admire and look up to. Its important, for I learned many of these things because of the great young and old women that I had the opportunity to admire. All I'm saying is that we need to do things with excellence, understanding and grace...through happiness and through pain.

Written by Yetunde A. Odugbesan

A Good Name Is Priceless

2009-06-09T14:17:00.000-07:00

Proverbs 22:1 says, "If you have to choose between a good reputation and great wealth, choose a good reputation." Wealth may vanish over night, but a good name lasts forever. Living in our society today, there are so many temptations that may lead one into making regrettable decisions. Decisions that will cost you your reputation and good name.

I cannot stress how important it is to maintain a good name. Although people make mistakes but there are some mistakes that are hard to mend. The consequence of such mistake is great. Life is like walking on a tight-rope making sure we do the right thing, take the right steps, and make the right decisions to make sure that we don't fall! Which is the same as maintaining good character. There are many people out there known to be a thief, drug dealer, con artist and so forth. Because of the decisions they've made, they are known by their actions. Even though these people may be reformed and renewed from their ways, society tends to remember them as such.

That is why it is very important to be careful in the decision that you make. Remember God is always forgiving but society is not. God will forget your past but the world will not. Ultimately, God's thought of you is most important. But society has a way of throwing the things you want to forget in your face. In essence, as much as you try to become successful always try equally to maintain a good name.

Written by Yetunde A. Odugbesan

Man Sees Your Actions, God Your Motives.

2009-06-09T13:42:00.000-07:00

In the book, Proverbs For Life for Women (please buy this book) which was given to me by someone very dear to my heart, Ms. Tawanna Stanley it states a quote. The quote is by Thomas A. Kempis and it states, "Man sees your actions, God your motives," which is very true. How many times have we done something in which we knew deep down inside was not for the right reason? We all may be guilty in this area.

My favorite artist who I admire and love for her lyrical content and poetry, Lauryn Hill, also touches on this point. In her poem called Motive and Thoughts she says, "Blind with wickedness, deep in your heart. Modern day wickedness is all you've been taught, lied to your neighbors, so you get ahead. Modern day trickery is all you've been fed. Motive and Thoughts, Check Your Motive and Thoughts." This statement may seem a bit extreme, but this is the reality. There are many people out there who are very manipulative, divisive, and so forth. I hope many of you do not have these qualities, even still I believe it is always important to check your motives.

Check yourself by asking questions like, would I accept the same treatment from someone else? Is my actions really pure? Am I helping this person because I genuinely care? Are there areas in my heart that are filled with greed or jealousy? Am I content? Do I harbor feelings against someone else? And would God be happy with my actions?

Written by Yetunde A. Odugbesan

Create Firm Foundations

2009-06-09T12:46:00.000-07:00

Plant your feet in solid ground. Build your house on rock rather than sand. Build lasting relationship rather than fleeting romances. Seek the house of the Lord rather than the "House" then the Lord. These are some catch phrases to remind you to create a firm foundation. Why is it important to create a firm foundation, I will tell you why? Creating a firm foundation prevents you from loosing your yourself and everything you have worked hard for.

How do you create a firm foundation? You create it by building your life upon principles, individual set of values, morals, your religion and so forth. Principles like honesty, integrity and values like responsibility and bravery. Each value system differs from person to person. By governing your life by these ideals, it will help during the most difficult time. As for me my faith in God helps me through many situations. I'm not the type of person to carry my relationship with God on my shoulder rather I choose to carry it in heart and mind. Those are the values and beliefs that govern my life and in which I choose to build my house upon.

It is important that we let our beliefs and morals be at the forefront in our lives. Let it guide you and speak for you. Your actions speak louder than your words. And your actions are a depiction of your lifestyle. And your lifestyle is a mirror of who you are. Remember every great structure needs a firm foundation.

Written by Yetunde A. Odugbesan

Age Does Not Determine Maturity

2009-06-09T09:55:00.000-07:00

I strongly believe that ones age does not determine their maturity level. Rather maturity comes from experiences and emotional development. And age does not equal experience. I have met people younger than 16 whose life story it is enough to make a movie and sell a book. They have experienced more in their short life-time than maybe someone who is twice their age. When I stated that maturity comes from experience, I rather re-state that by saying, experiences is a factor in the basis of maturity. Because there are people who may have went through various experiences that may have ultimately stunted their maturity growth or decreased their maturity level, so it depends.

But at times adults tend to overlook children or young adults and assume that because of their age their automatically immature, but I beg to differ. Age cannot be used as the only factor that determines whether someone is mature or not. I have met people older than me who are immature in many areas. And I have met people younger than me who are far more mature than their age. I myself, remember being in the third grade and having a counselor call me out of class to let me know that the school wanted me to take an IQ test. So I took the test, and a week later the school board and the counselors had a meeting with my parents. What they told my parents was that I scored very high on the IQ test and that my intelligence and ability to think and rationale was on the level of an 8th grader even though I was in the third grade at the time. So, they wanted to skip me two grades and put me in a gifted school, but my parents declined (whatever their rationale may have been!). This is just to say that age does not only determine maturity nor rationale.

There is something called the Maturity Continuum developed by Stephen R. Covey. Who suggests that we as humans go through about three stages of maturity development. I won't go to deep into his model for it is very extensive (if you want to learn more I suggest you buy the book: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People). Our life in my perspective is like an emotional timeline, instead of the years being noted...its our experiences being noted. And our experiences are like a point system, every time we have a positive and empowering experience whether good or bad it pushes us forward to our next date/experience. And when we experience something bad it may push us back emotionally. Although some may be moving forward realistically in time, they are emotionally stuck in 1975. (I hope you are getting my logic). Basically what I am trying to say that sometimes it is not the age that defines ones maturity but the amount of experience we have been through that have helped us to grow emotionally.

So, my word of advice in short, is that to refrain from having the same expectation model for every person you meet, because that will lead to disappointment. Rather be open minded because everyone is different and will not meet your expectations.

Written By Yetunde A. Odugbesan

Revealing Your Ignorance

2009-06-09T09:14:00.001-07:00

As we go through life we acquire more knowledge. We are constantly learning, creating, experiencing, developing and thus becoming more smarter and wiser. But we at times forget to understand that as humans we are like students sitting in the classroom yearning to learn more. Graduation from any level of education does not mean, learning stops there. We believe that obtaining a higher degree means we have mastered an area (which may be true) but there are other countless areas to be mastered. The world is our classroom and we are the students. We need to be like "empty receptacles waiting to be filled" like Scholar Paulo Freire states in his article, 'The Banking Concept of Education." Although he uses that statement to argue another point, I believe this statement supports my point of view.

Stephen R. Covey author of the (must have book), "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People," touches upon the idea of revealing your ignorance. He states in his book, "If you don't let a teacher know at what level you are-by asking a question or revealing your ignorance -you will not learn or grow." Which in essence, is the fact of life! We spend too much talking about how much we know and little time focusing on what we do not know. The more we admit to ourselves and the world that even with all of the accomplishments and accolades...I am still learning and growing, this mindset produces even greater changes.

Prominent leaders and social activists around the world did not make monumental strides by believing that they were too good or too smart enough to constantly continue educating themselves. They believed that in order to make a profound difference they had to do profound things. For example, Marcus Garvey would later sit down and have a meeting with KKK (which was unheard at that time) just to get this point across (even though that may have cost him more that he expected). Malcolm X who educated himself in jail, memorized the dictionary, read the bible and began studying everything from genetics to archeology. I believe that change can only be made when constant education and openness to learning new things become a constant in ones life.

Written by Yetunde A. Odugbesan

Its Ok, To Be Selective

2009-05-31T19:52:00.000-07:00

There is nothing wrong in being selective. I must admit, I'm a selective person...for a good cause and reason. It is through good and bad experiences that you will learn what is best for you. You will be able to discern which friends are keepers, which job suites you, which mate is best to date and so forth. I feel that people associate negative connotations with being selective. That if your selective your too conceited or too picky. But, I beg to differ and choose to change that definition. I believe a selective person is one who knows what they want (due to trial and error) and does not apologize for it.

You need to be selective in different ways. When it comes to the company you keep, be selective. When it comes to the men or women you date, be selective. When it comes to the internships or jobs you want, be selective. When it comes to way you dress, be selective. There is a calculated and strategic reason behind your decisions. Because you have experienced bad company, dated the wrong man or woman, chose the wrong profession...those experiences have taught you to know exactly what works for you.

When you choose to be selective, you decide to put your self first. Not in a selfish or self-centered way but in a loving way. Realizing the things that are needed to take you to your level and destination. Like I stated before, its okay to be selective. It shows how much you love and stay true to yourself.

Written by Yetunde A. Odugbesan

Thank God, For Adversity!

2009-05-31T18:46:00.000-07:00

Thank the Lord for adversity. We may not say it when we are going through it but lets thank Him for it. Because it was the presence of adversity that made us wiser, stronger, and more appreciative. The devil thought that if he threw adversity in your way, that it would downsize you and your blessing...but he was wrong. Out of pain, great power is produced. It is out of severe heartache extreme joy is truly experienced.

So, I thank God for every adversity. Didn't Nelson Mandela spend 27 years in jail before becoming the President of South Africa. Wasn't it Oprah Winfrey who was raped and abused before becoming one of the richest and most influential women in the world. Wasn't it Maya Angelou who was molested as child before becoming one of the most praised poets in the world. Wasn't is Elie Wiesel who went through the horrors of the Holocaust before winning the Nobel Peace Prize for his powerful literature. So you see, out of the depths of pain, heartache and failure God will use you and uplift you.

It is your story that will reach millions of people. Every successful person has a great story to tell. The experiences that you have went through had to come to pass in order to get you to your next level. Because you went through pain you will be able to sympathize with others, because you were in debt you will understand how good it feels to be rich, because you were gravely sick in the hospital you now appreciate what it means to have good health. So you see, we should thank God for adversity and let the devil know everything bad that has happened in our lives will work out for our own good.

Written by Yetunde A. Odugbesan

When Your Presence Speaks Volumes

2009-05-31T17:31:00.000-07:00

There is a thing called presence. Not everyone has this special gift. One of the definitions of presence is a divine or supernatural spirit felt to be present or a supernatural influence felt to be nearby. When people think of presence they equate it with someone who has a compelling personality. But to me there is something divine about having presence.

I've only met a few people in my lifetime who has commanded my attention. Some of these individuals had some sort of gift that even just looking at them, will command your full attention. It will cause you draw near and learn more about them. Everywhere they go they seem to attract and shine with no effort on their own part. Many people will not understand these people some may even try to attack these people. But, what they fail to understand is that you cannot go into battle with something that is divinely placed.

There are some who wish to not have this thing called presence because it has brought them more heartache than happiness. It has brought them a league of enemies, backstabbers, envious and jealous friends. They often make the mistake of believing that these people are against who they are as a person and fail to realize that those people cannot stand to be around a shining light that they cannot possess. But, the great thing about presence is that it speaks for you. It will speak volumes of who you are, what you stand for and what it is you expect before you open your mouth. It will send messages to those who are against you to keep their distance and it will automatically embrace those who are for you. Your presence does more than command attention and respect, it protects you.

This sort of divine presence that God has chosen to place in you cannot be diminished, overshadowed nor rivaled. Your presence will automatically challenge others to either live up to a higher standard of morals, values or lifestyle or cause them to re-evaluate their own lives (which may cause some to dislike you). But, I am here today to tell you do not be afraid of your presence, let it speak for you and thank God for it.

Written by Yetunde A. Odugbesan

The Audacity To Be Great

2009-05-23T19:55:00.000-07:00

We have heard of the The Audacity of Hope but I have come up with a new title, "The Audacity To Be Great." After we have the hope and the faith, we need the audacity to be great. The confidence to live out our great talents and gifts. I believe that the whole point of life is to produce greatness. To be excellent at what you do, to master an art, to excel in our education, to become a better person, to reach the heights of our most inspirational leaders and make a profound difference in small steps. These things can only be done by having the GUTS to actually try and live up to your full potential...despite the obstacles.

This is a time for change, a change to make a difference. A time to ignore the naysayers and press forward. Even when the road might seem uncertain, go forward anyway. When you believe that God has your destiny in his hands, nothing can deter you. When you put your faith and dependence solely on God, how can you not accomplish your goals? For you serve a merciful and faithful God who never fails. A God who sees you through and takes you from glory to glory. Obstacles will come but by the grace of God they will not overcome you.

It is important that we remind ourselves of the goals at hand. Keep your eye on the prize and do not be scared to shine and live out your destiny. You are meant to shine brightly and stand out. Like Marianne Williamson said, "Your playing small does not serve the world." It is because of your existence that the world will become a better place (always strive for this goal).

Written By Yetunde A. Odugbesan

Poise and Power

2009-05-13T16:41:00.000-07:00

What is poise and power and why is it essential to have the two together? I will tell you why...to have poise it means to be unwavering, acquiring a state of balance and composure, and being able adjust. And to have power that means to have a great or marked ability to act and do. To master the skill of poise is a serious accomplishment. For example, President Barack Obama does a magnificent job at exercising poise and composure while in the midst of heated debates. It is not easy for everyone to exercises this skill effectively. Each day we run into people who will get on our nerves or tick us off, but it is these encounters that can teach us a great deal.

To be able to sit and exercise effective poise and power is a gift indeed. To control a conversation or an argument by just your posture and poise and not with your mouth or facial expression is a skill to be sought after. When you let people talk and prove their point (in which many people will do), you give yourself a chance to exercise effective poise and composure. There is a saying that goes, "Try not to argue with a fool because one cannot tell whose who," should be inducted into the Ten Commandments! I have learned through trial and error that it is more effective to listen than to talk. And when it is time to talk, after listening you will be far more prepared to give a direct and powerful response.

It is not everyone that is worth arguing with or paying attention to. There are certain conversations and battles that you should limit yourself too. When you realize what is important and how words should be conveyed, this will help you in any conversation. One of my favorite theologians Christian D. Larson states, "Poise may be defined as that state of conscious being wherein peace and power thoroughly combine. The feeling of power become perfectly serene and the feeling of peace becomes enormously strong. When you feel absolutely calm and self-possessed, and at the same time feel strong enough to move mountains, you are in POISE."

Is not sufficient enough to be silent in the midst of an argument if you want to exercise poise, it is more powerful to be able to listen diligently. When you give the other person a turn to talk and release their emotions on your terms you give yourself the option on how you want to react. It is your reaction that will determine how poise you are. People will come and try to shake you, but always keep your composure and poise...it will lead to greater levels of power and strength.

How to Deal With Various Personalities

2009-05-13T16:23:00.000-07:00

How do you deal with the different personalities and characteristics of people that constantly come your way? A question that countless authors have written about. Like author, Dale Carnegie who wrote, "How to Win Friends & Influence People" (a great must have book), provides people with tools on how to effectively deal with people and ultimately influence and win them over. Besides all the countless of books you can buy on this subject, I learned some essential things via real-life experiences.

I've interacted with all types of people, the good and the bad. And I've learned that each person is different in their own right. And what we believe is proper etiquette, attitude, and character does not apply to all people, (even though wish it could). Once we come to the full knowledge that every individual brings something different to the table (whether good or bad), we may not be as shocked as to what that entree may be.

One thing that is important when interacting and dealing with people is that, you must be yourself and stand your ground. You will come across so many different people but at the end of the day, these daily encounters should be used in building you up and not bringing you down...(this is your decision). In my next entry, I will talk about Poise and Power, an essential skill to have and develop when dealing, handling and interacting with people.

God in Me

2009-05-02T08:55:00.000-07:00

Mary Mary has a fabulous song called, "God In Me." This is a such a great song that I believe every young lady should have on rotation in their ipod deck. Sometimes women can be very vindictive and mean. Some may look at other women and say things like, "She think she cute or who she think she is." Creating negative attitudes like jealousy and being too competitive. You believe that if you could get a better car than her, a better job than her, a higher degree than her and so forth, that your success will dwindle her shine. But what you do not know is that, you cannot compete with God.

It is not her hair, her looks, her dress, her success, her material possessions that makes her shine, it is the God that is within her. So no matter how hard you may try to be like another female or be better than someone else, your pursuits will be futile. Because you cannot imitate the presence of God. If you do not have the "God Factor" in your life, you cannot reach that level. Sometimes people ask what is it about him or her, the answer is...its the God that is within them. Its that simple.

Check the video out at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmGxUnyxw9g&NR=1

Next Level

2009-05-02T07:25:00.000-07:00

As we continue to move forward, we will reach the next level in our lives. We should not plan to just move to a level, we should plan to move to a higher level. A level that requires more determination, perseverance, higher goals, a better sense of self and fire! One of my mentors told me, "Yetunde, you need to have fire in your belly, so that you keep going higher and higher." And he was right.

Do not settle for right now, as a matter a fact do not settle at all. Society needs individuals who will continue to strive for excellence. One of my favorite quotes said by President Obama is, "We need to internalize this idea of excellence. Not many folks spend a lot of time trying to be excellent." We need to be part of the minority who spend all of their time trying to be excellent. Striving for excellence does not mean striving for perfection. Excellence is attainable, perfection is not. As we continue to climb to our next level, I hope that we do it with excellence and passion.

I pray that this "next level" you and I embark upon will be a stage of happiness, peacefulness and success. That we will be able to leave our mark on this world and become a force of change, inspiration and motivation for all.

Remember life is all about moving forward and reaching higher levels. If you feel that you are stagnant or not reaching the next level in your life, reflect on what are the key issues that are pulling you back. You need to actualize your dreams even if everyone around you does not.

By Yetunde A. Odugbesan

Moving Forward

2009-05-02T07:02:00.000-07:00

As we all end the various chapters in our lives to begin new ones, lets being them with passion. I am content and satisfied with all of my actions and accomplishments. I believe the things that have yet to be accomplished will be done, in my next level.

Each and everyone of us will graduate, transition into different jobs, start new ventures and so forth. So as we being to turn the next page and start writing the next new chapter in our life's story, let us move forward. Taking everything we have learned and using it as a guide for the future. Creating another blueprint for more success and prosperity. And as we continue to succeed in our next levels, let us now forget that our success is part of a bigger picture.

That our success will be used to help others. It is because we are successful, that many people will be able to live again and achieve their dreams. Whether it is through distant inspiration, constant motivation or physical upliftment, let us make that difference. See you at the next level.

Written by Yetunde A. Odugbesan

So, I Met Maya Angleou

2009-04-24T08:18:00.000-07:00

I met the living-saint Maya Angelou about three days ago. It was an experience that will I always remember and cherish. It was her words and presence that left a lasting impression. Her voice sounded like poetry. Everything that came out of her mouth was like music almost messianic. As she talked about her life and the various people and experiences that guided her to be where she is today...(I continued to text everything she said to myself). I had no pen or paper, but I had my cellphone...kudos to technology.

She talked about rainbows. And for the first time the definition of a rainbow took on a different meaning. She talked about the rainbows she had in clouds, people from all different colors and races where her rainbows. She advised us to thank those who came before us. Thank those who we never knew, who fought on our behalf. She also said that as young people we need to bring out rainbows with us. Whether its during an interview or an exam, bring all your rainbows. Bring all the people who fought for you and envision them around you at all times still fighting and cheering for you. She also said, "Thank them in their absence and prepare yourself to be someone else's rainbow." And I thought to myself, how great the world would be if everyone served as someone else's rainbow.

At times we forget that someone else paved the way for us, those we know and those we don't. We forget that at times in our lives, someone was there to listen, someone was there to talk, someone was there to make us smile and laugh. People were there fighting on our behalf in the background (that we had no clue about). So, what about the rest? When will you become someone else's rainbow? We each owe the world our service. It is our responsibility as people to make sure that we make in difference in the lives of others.

Written by Yetunde A. Odugbesan